Any question answered...

Do you think dogs get freaked out by people picking up their shit?

No, they like it...Or my friend's dog likes it..... ok ok context..

I took him for a walk, he's a small little thing. so squats to do a poo. does one, then he remains half squatting but nowt's dropping on the ground. so he looks up at me with a pained expression... so i look at his arse and man, a poo is half sticking out but it won't drop. and his squeezing isn't working, so he's basically begging me to get it out...

so i take the shit bag, cover my hand and grab the poo and pull, comes out, and man sudden;ly he's the happiest and perkiest fucker for miles around.

true story.

I.. um.. I.. err..

^^ don't look at me like that.. It was a cute dog! i felt sorry for the bastard, all half squatting helplessly looking for you to rescue it from poo half dangling out of its arse!!

Are you busy tonight? I see an opportunity..

Er how did we get from espresso martinis to pulling shit out of a dog?!

It's an easy progression..

Now.. if we can sort both..

Are you busy tonight? I see an opportunity..

Haha nope, i'm sat here nursing my inhaler fucking about on here andeating fish sticks..

anyone good with chemistry?...this is gona be controversial..but can alcohol be made out of poo?

I love it when they talk dirty.. bring your inhaler and fish sticks here..

No, but you can get pissed on mouth wash, which you'll need anyway to help with that shitty breath........

where is here? Sounds far away, i'm in my tetris boxers, and it's warm in here. my brother's trying to ride his langster in the living room. it looks horrific.

how much mouthwash?!

To get drunk or fix that breath?

To get DRUNK man!

This booze won't drink itself.

This booze drank itself.

Fuck.

Fuck indeed. I fucking hate having asthma ridden shit lungs.

I was wondering if changing forks would make it better suited for "spirited" riding off the track

What exactly is it about the current fork that you think is holding back your "spirit"?

Having asthma is like being a fat piss head right? #excuses #oohcontroversial

hehe no skinny cunts here, chop :)

Some seriously fast people out there with asthma and some seriously dodgy fuckers with inhalers and no asthma. applies for medical exemption

Ephedrine hydrochloride 18.31mg = no go, i'm afraid. :(

Caffeine is currently 'under observation'. If they ban it next year before the 24.. "ouch" is all I can say.

applies for medical exemption

Not needed, I don't think you even have to declare your use at the dopage any more
https://www.ukad.org.uk/forms/declaration/

Since I restarted competing, it's gone from getting a doctor to prepare a TUE application and sending it British Cycling, to just declaring use in advance, to declaring use on the way into the dopage, to nothing.

Cheers, but I'm too far gone reaches for doughnut and I'm not really uncomfortable with my appearance reaches for beer. I know I could be faster if I was 5-10kg lighter reaches for Snickers but consciously restricting intake doesn't work for me as I make it up when the will power gives way reaches for another beer. Also, the last thing I'd want is to test +'ve after setting a club record. Okay the chance of being tested is basically nil but can you imagine failing a drug test as a slow arse amateur? How fucking embarassing! Not to mention bye bye record.