Jokes / Joke du jour!

School: Hello?
Parent: I'm ringing because I was told that parents can opt their children out of attending school in person if they are worried about Covid-19.
School: That's right.
Parent: Then I'd like my son to be excused attendance.
School. OK, what's his name?
Parent: Frank Sudlow. He's teaching year 3.

My paper on entertainment arcades projecting from the coastline has just been submitted for pier review

Just in...

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Ha ha ha ha ha

Dr I had a dream I was being chased by Cypriot cheese
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Ah I think you have been having halloumi-nations

What is jay-z's favourite cheese ?
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Brie-yoncé

Did you hear about the cheese that failed
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Yes it fell at the final curdle

please stop

How did the cheesemonger paint his wife?
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He double Gloucester

What cheese do you use to disguise a small horse?
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Mascarpone

An Italian woodpecker friend of mine told me their favourite cheese is
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Pecorino

What was Marlon Brando's cheesiest film ?
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The goudafather

What kind of cheese doesn't belong to you?
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Nacho cheese.

A favourite amongst football managers?

Antonio Comté

I've just opened a Noel coward themed cheese and fish stall in my local market
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It's called brie fin counter

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?

There was de Brie everywhere.

An ecclesiastical friend of mine with personal hygiene problems told me his favourite cheese is
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Stinking bishop

This thread is going downhill quicker than a double gloucester at Cooper's Hill.

I've heard there is a secret society of enlightened and knowledgeable cheese makers
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They are known as the halloumi- nati

What did the cheese day when it saw itself in a mirror?
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Hallou-mi!

Which cheese is made backwards?
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edam

Which cheese puns are funny?

A new publication on the complete history of cheese from a radical feminist perspective is being edited by
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Germaine Gruyére

There's been some internal conflict going down in the mafia between two of the head honchos.

In the end the big cheese came up with a bi-parmesan solution.

An anemologist friend of mine said on the cheese front
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He prefers the Bries