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On the Aussie theme, found this a while back, thought it was hilarious:
"This got the whole of Sydney laughing. Read it and you'll see why! Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called 'Mate Match'. The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers'yes',he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with (phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet.
Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ: 'Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?'
Contestant: (laughing) 'Yes, I have.'
DJ: 'Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win.
What is your name? First only please.'
Contestant: 'Brian.'
DJ: 'Brian, are you married or what?'
Brian: (laughing nervously) 'Yes, I am married.'
DJ: 'Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please.'
Brian: 'Sara.'
DJ: 'Is Sara at work, Brian?'
Brian: 'She is gonna kill me.'
DJ: 'Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?'
Brian: (laughing) 'Yes, she's at work.'
DJ: 'Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?'
Brian: 'About 8 o'clock this morning.'
DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.'
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) 'Well...'
DJ: 'Question #2 - How long did it last?'
Brian: 'About 10 minutes.'
DJ: 'Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake.'
Brian: 'Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.'
DJ: 'Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) 'I, ummm, I, well...'
DJ: 'This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?'
Brian: 'Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for couple of weeks...'
DJ: 'Uh huh...'
Brian: '...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.'
DJ: 'Atta boy, Brian.'
Brian: 'On the kitchen table.'
DJ: 'Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it.
Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up.
You listen to this.'
[3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: 'Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?' (Touch tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: 'Kinkos.'
DJ: 'Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?'
Clerk: 'This is she.'
DJ: 'Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.'
Sarah: (laughing) 'A couple of hours?'
DJ: 'Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give anyanswers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?'
Sarah: 'No.'
DJ: 'Good!'
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) 'Brian, what the hell are you up to?'
Brian: (laughing) 'Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.'
DJ: 'Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.
Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.'
DJ: 'Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?'
Sarah: 'Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work.'
DJ: 'What time?'
Sarah: 'Around 8 this morning.'
DJ: 'Very good. Next question. How long did it last?'
Sarah: '12, 15 minutes maybe.'
DJ: 'Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect is manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?'
Sarah: (laughing) 'Yes.'
DJ: 'Where did you have it?'
Sarah: 'OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?'
Brian: 'Just tell him, honey.'
DJ: 'What is bothering you so much, Sarah?'
Sarah: 'Well...'
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
Sarah: 'Up the arse.....'They had to call an ambulance for the DJ he thought he was going to have a heart attack, he could not stop laughing. Apparently there was an unusually high call out of the Sydney Police just after this conversation, for minor traffic collisions."
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the "up the arse" thing is urban legend
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That story is great but defo 'urban myth' been told about 200 times in various forms
Like the fella caught wankin with his eyes shut, headphones on, cup of tea next to his bed when he opens his eyes
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That story is great but defo 'urban myth' been told about 200 times in various forms
Like the fella caught wankin with his eyes shut, headphones on, cup of tea next to his bed when he opens his eyes
no that actually was me.
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The internet may not have been invented by Chuck Norris, but without him it would never have caught on.
Chuck Norris is thought to have invented the first Chuck Norris joke, sadly if anyone but Chuck Norris hears it they instantaneously die.
Chuck Norris is said to be pleased with Chuck Norris jokes, but it is prophesized that if he sees one he doesn't like the interwebz will cease to exist.
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That story is great but defo 'urban myth' been told about 200 times in various forms
Like the fella caught wankin with his eyes shut, headphones on, cup of tea next to his bed when he opens his eyes
FAIL
It is in fact true.
http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/newlywed.asp
There's even footage to back it up.
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? The radio show is apocryphal, but based upon the trufax Newlyweds Game episode.
Like a lot of urban legends of this ilk, there is a grain of truth behind them. Often they get repeated with a decline in quality until someone wants to tell a proper story, thereafter they flesh it out with enough detail to make it more credible that they were there at the time and thus the "facts" change and the stor evolves. Typical gang car stuff.
So when Pisti says defo "urban myth" , he is natually wrong because he's too bloody lazy to check the background. If I were lazy I probably would have said the same thing though.
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A paving slap and some astroturf go out on the town for some drinks.
Paving slab keeps going on about how hard he is and how he's won thousands of pub brawls over the years.
They end up in a club and are both pretty fired up and looking for a fight.
Some green tarmac barges past the paving slab and just turns around and tells them to fuck off.
Paving slab keeps quiet.
Astroturf asks why he didn't do anything.
"I'm not messing with him mate, he's a fucking cyclepath!"Same as this except with a Halls and a Locket
'He's fucking Menthol'
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? The radio show is apocryphal, but based upon the trufax Newlyweds Game episode.
on youtube.. funny what spawns a legend
mmccarthy
nuknow
jaw
d-goods
photoben
yebogorgor
neu
Sparky
hoonz
deleted
The_Seldom_Killer
EB
pajamas-
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Posted by
@Pistanator
I'll throw in a poor one:
What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?
One's a marsupial, the other one's a Geordie stuck in a lift...