Jokes / Joke du jour!

I lived in a warehouse for a while once. It was great but it turned into a house every full moon

Was it owned by a dyslexic pimp?

Last night, as I lay in bed, I looked up at the night sky and thought... Where the fuck has my roof gone?

Repped, stolen.

Repped, stolen.

Is it funnier with the sherlock holmes version?

Yes

I lived in a warehouse for a while once. It was great but it turned into a house every full moon

would it work better as a converted warehouse?

The Past, the Present and the Future walked in to a bar.

It was tense.

I've just a made a ventriloquist's dummy out of some old carpet.

It's ruggish.

Rep.

What do dwarves and midgets have in common?

Very little.

Hahaha..

^^Schtolen!

Hippy.

Laughter is the best medicine, unless you're diagnosed with erectile dysfunction.

What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi?

There, their, they're

What do you say when your comforting a grammar nazi?

There, their, they're

ftfy

Joke from extras, cracked me up but it might be a repost.

What's ET short for?

He's only got little legs

What do dwarves and midgets have in common?

Very little.

Either way, an AFL player will still try set them on fire.

A pregnant girl phones her mum to tell her that her waters have broken.
Mum: "Ok darling, where are you ringing from?"
Girl: "From my fanny to my ankles."

How does an accountant solve constipation???

He works it out with a pencil!

Surely it's a mathematician, and the result is in logs.

^how does a sysadmin know if someones installed something through a backdoor, he checks his logs.

A guy walks into a bookshop and says, "I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare"
The shop assistant asks, "Which one?"
"William"

Walking to work this morning I saw a woman with 12 nipples!

I know, sounds so unlikely dozen tit?

^nerged

Went to the doctors and said l was suffering from premature ejaculation.
He asked, "How does your wife feel about it?"
I said, "She took it on the chin the first time, but now it's getting on her tits."