Jokes / Joke du jour!

Last night the wife smashed a plate while doing the dishes.
"You're as clumsy as a fox in a china shop" I said to her.
She replied sarcastically "Don't you mean a "bull" in a china shop?"
"No", I replied. "I meant Michael J"

zing!
take that Michael J (who changed his name from Michael A when entering the business as the J was edgier)

I crashed into someone whilst driving the other day. I tried telling the police he was on his mobile phone and was drinking alcohol at the time but apparently what he does in his own conservatory has nothing to do with the matter.

hee hee

If youre lucky enough, that your wife suggests organising a threesome for your birthday......
....and asks which of hers friends you like.
....dont give her two names.

I'm shutting your butt down!

Me No get

Me No get

not sure if Iain's comment was meant to be a joke, but it made me laugh.

not sure if Iain's comment was meant to be a joke, but it made me laugh.

I think you have to be American to totally get it. Safeway is an American supermarket chain. Hence Safeway bag. Arf arf.

I remember those heady days when Safeway was also a british supermarket chain.
That was before the evil Morrisons consumed it, like a boa constrictor gorging itself on an innocent goat.

we had safeway over here until recently (may still in some places).

I remember those heady days when Safeway was also a british supermarket chain.
That was before the evil Morrisons consumed it, like a boa constrictor gorging itself on an innocent goat.

This.

not sure if Iain's comment was meant to be a joke, but it made me laugh.

Also this.

has anyone got a joke now?

Two buckets of sick were walking through London's streets when one of them suddenly stopped. "I recognise this area, this is where I was brought up"

Arsenal fans hate Robin Van Persie, Man United fans love Robin Van Persie, and Liverpool fans just love Robin Van Radios

Unable to hold back the tears, a sobbing Lance Armstrong reveals to Oprah that he has £50 of HMV vouchers that he "May as well burn now."

I am stealing that for FB Mick.. Will credit.

Anyone tried the new Oasis soup from Tesco?

You get a roll with it...

ha

Let's see if I can do worse, yep shame to hear about HMV.

They have been selling music since records began.

Ooop.

Anyone tried the new Oasis soup from Tesco?

You get a roll with it...

1995 called, it wants it's joke back.

i'll bet you googled that