Jokes / Joke du jour!

A bear drops an e and turns into a bar. BARMAN: Yes, sir? BEAR: Er.. just a water, please. BARMAN: Why the big pause? BEAR: I love you, man.

My wife told me to get our ginger son ready for his first day at school.

So I punched him in the face and stole his dinner money.

I was an accountant from the age of 20 to the age of 30, before I was sacked for no apparent reason. What a waste of 14 years that was.

A bear drops an e and turns into a bar. BARMAN: Yes, sir? BEAR: Er.. just a water, please. BARMAN: Why the big pause? BEAR: I love you, man.

Oh my god! I love this one!!!! Epic!!!

Love you man!

And I love you too buddy.

A bear drops an e and turns into a bar. BARMAN: Yes, sir? BEAR: Er.. just a water, please. BARMAN: Why the big pause? BEAR: I love you, man.

This is jazz. Brilliant!

A bear drops an e and turns into a bar. BARMAN: Yes, sir? BEAR: Er.. just a water, please. BARMAN: Why the big pause? BEAR: I love you, man.

I'm not sure I get it.

some, err, interesting material in here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01777fr/Old_Jews_Telling_Jokes_Episode_1/

I met the guy who invented the windowsill. What a ledge!

some, err, interesting material in here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01777fr/Old_Jews_Telling_Jokes_Episode_1/

I watched that. Some properly funny ones in there.

God damn Russian Dolls. Who DO they think they are?! So full of themselves!

I'll get me coat >>>>>

some, err, interesting material in here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01777fr/Old_Jews_Telling_Jokes_Episode_1/

20% off... ha ha v good

I made a joke up:

What do you call a child sex abuser on holiday?
Torpedo

Q: What's the capital of Greece?

A: About €2.50.

my v funny mate on faceache posted this

"I am eating out for lunch, ordered a greek salad. I hope there are some Germans around here to pay for it"

tickled me..

Apparently god misunderstood Amy Winehouse when she asked for speed...

My God's got no nose.

How does he smell?

He can't. He doesn't exist.

**The new Margaret Thatcher film has been rated a 12a.

Apparently it's not suitable for miners.**

My God's got no nose.

How does he smell?

He can't. He doesn't exist.

Ha! +10 Rep for you sir!

Earlier today, a man was rushed to hospital with 7 plastic horses up his arse, the doctors described his condition as stable.

A pedant walks into a bar. Well, it's a restaurant with a bar. Technically it's a brewpub since it has an onsite microbrewery

awesome!

Q: what's blue and fuck grannys?

A: pneumonia

I am sorry if anyone has lost someone to respiratory disease.

Q: what's green and eats nuts?

A: syphilis.

How many Nicaraguans can you fit on a tram?

Is this a croyden joke?