Quotes from The Simpsons

Repost. Banned.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Repost. Banned.

D'oh.

"Judging by his outlandish attire he's some sort of free thinking anarchist!"

"I'll call security Sir."

(Bonus points if you know the song that featured this quote at the start, also from memory).

I know it was Chumbawamba (before they were famous) but the song escapes me. Was is that 'mouth full of shit' one?

Marge: Why all the black?
Homer: Why all the pearls? Why all the hair? Why anything?
Lisa: You look a little nervous, Dad..
Homer: No, YOU look a little nervous, Lisa!
Bart: You're up to something, aren't ya?
Homer: No! I'm just going out to commit... certain... deeds.... (From outside the room, still within earshot) Suckers.

^Man that's a great episode. Just read the whole transcript. Nearly every line is killer.

S5 and S6 were the real peak for the Simpsons for me. You forget just how good it once was.

^Man that's a great episode. Just read the whole transcript. Nearly every line is killer.

S5 and S6 were the real peak for the Simpsons for me. You forget just how good it once was.

Entirely correct.

This is from the same episode:

Moe: "Renee, there's something I gotta tell ya."
Renee: "Oh no. You're gay, aren't you? Oh boy, Renee, you sure can pick 'em!"
Moe: "Nah, it ain't that."
Renee: "What, so you're married?"
Moe: "No, no! I--Hey, why did you say gay first?"

Marge, we're going out and if we don't come back, avenge our deaths!

"Well, let's just call them... uh, 'Mr. X' and 'Mrs. Y'. So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!"

Homer (wearing a leather jacket): Look everyone. Now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my elbows.
Marge: Homer, that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed blazer, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket.
Homer: Uh...incorrect, Marge. Two perfectly good jackets.

Marge, can we switch? I don't trust these guys.

Will you raise them Christian??

Eh, Coptic Christian.

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Ha! Lou and his frittatas... Ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh, he likes eggs...

Don't bother calling 911 any more, here's the real number.

Marge: "here's your money"
Plumber: "well you know if you bought a 50 cent washe.."
Homer: "I've got a better idea, GET THE HELL OUT"
Plumber: "Look I've got some washers in the truck, I'll give you one"
Homer: "Marge, get my gun"

plumber backs away slowly

KBBL "A mattress on the freeway? Joan Collins must be in town!"

I've met her in real life after I won a photography competition a while back, she was really rude, true story bro.

• How do you sleep at night?
  
• On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
  

Reminded me of..

Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
No
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
No
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
No
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
No
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
No
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
No
Will you take us to Mount Splashmore
...

Reminded me of:
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there yet?"
"No"

'Spider-pig spider-pig does whatever a spider-pig does'

I was born a snake handler and I'll die a snake handler.

"If you kids can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm gonna turn this car around, and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody!"

"THAT'S IT, BACK TO WINNIPEG"

Officer up, officer way up.

Bart: "I know, I'll go to my room and think about what I did"

Homer: "Oh no you don't, your room is full of toys! You're going to the eeerrrr..Garage!"

I am Ganesh! This Wedding angers me!

ENJOY YeR FLIGHT

I didn't google these, so much as stumble upon them whilst reading blogs.