Your best responses during a road rage

Don't you need sun for that to happen?

A setting sun...

Which requires the sun. London has none of these so it must've happened in Spain or something which means they had no idea what was being said anyway.

Cerveza per favor!

Carlton Reid, who created ipayroadtax.com, is speaking at the LCC in Hackney's Annual Meeting this Wednesday:

http://www.lfgss.com/thread114631.html

Unfortunately I can't make that.

Will there be minutes available for this?

For the formal part of the meeting, yes.

I imagine we might record Carlton's talk, but I don't know if that's been agreed with him. I'll ask.

Wait for them to really start shouting at you, don't say a word throughout, then casually say "If you're looking for my comeback, better check your Mum's chin"

Best thread ever.... Below is a particular favorite

Driver (male) with passenger (female, addressed to); "Would you like to go for a drink? You friend here is angry, and I think you'll have a more satifying time with me" This only works if you ignore the fella COMPLETELY, and maintain eye contact with the woman.

Oh dear.

I like this approach.

I usually slap em this

www.ipayroadtax.com

Does this piss people off because it's out of date?

Generally - I just like to wave and smile when drivers are cunts (especially if they beep), and be overly friendly in conversation if it ever comes to that. People get confused and it tends to diffuse the situation pretty quickly.

I don't really do angry so generally go for blowing a kiss or a cheeky wink, or an exaggerated wave. I did have a small sign language and lip reading discussion with someone and their wife the other day about how they passed me too close just before a red light, I was smiley and nice and then as I shot off in front of them I lent over and held my arm out in a "you should be wider than here" kind of motion, he gave me more than enough room and got a cheery thumbs up.

I then kicked his wing mirror off at the next roundabout.

I moved from deliberately crashing into cars or a full on screaming match to a more reflective approach. I usually look at them shake my head and say something like.
You have got to be kidding me?
Do your eyes work?
Why do you think your car comes with mirrors?
But it depends on how dangerously stupid they were. Still can't beat a middle finger delivered with a swift volley of abuse for maximum effect. If the situation calls for it

+1 for the middle finger. Seems to get people sufficiently wound up.

I normally go with some variant of this:

Seems to go down well.

Tongue tucked into the bottom lip for incidents where you can make eye contact.

If Im being hassled from the rear whipping out a single bumcheek is usually enough to get them to back off.

Always pull your trousers back up with the hand that you dont need to cover your front brake.

Has anyone ever seen a bike using these?

usually do the metaller/devils horns salute

or lift my hand up to my face in the telephone position and mouth "call me?" while winking

Generally - I just like to wave and smile when drivers are cunts (especially if they beep), and be overly friendly in conversation if it ever comes to that. People get confused and it tends to diffuse the situation pretty quickly.

Thanks for all the sugguestions, I would probably stick to the above plus whipping out my phone to start recording their reactions.

My favourite one was during summer last year. I'm quite a heavily built tattooed fellow and while I sometimes switch on drivers (usually when they've endangered pals of mine), I'd much rather deal with things in a more light hearted way if possible - I think it's more effective, and you get less stressed, and besides, it can be funnier.

This Nigerian guy in a Nissan cut me up coming across Dalston Junction, obviously hadn't seen me, and I wanted to let him know next time to look for cyclists, but didn't want to be combative about it. So I cycled up to his nearside window as we pootled along, and said 'would you mind using your indicators next time you're planning on changing lanes?'. He heard me but refused to look at me or acknowledge what I'd said; just accelerated and hoped I'd go away. And instead of getting annoyed, I thought this was kind of funny, and the sarcasm descended.

So I caught up with him (it's 6pm in Dalston, traffic is heavy) and said something like, 'OK, you're not an indicators sort of person. Still, you should let me know somehow - about a declarative poem?'. Again, wouldn't look at me, just accelerated off. So I caught up with him again, and bellowed though the open window about the communicative possibilities of the anonymous pamphlet - retro, definitely, but surely due for a resurgence one of these days. I kept this up for a good mile or so, each time suggesting new methods of communication for him to employ, never once swearing, never once losing the smile off my face.

Only when he got into the clear did he finally manage to wind up his window and speed off. But I kept it up even then; I like to think that pedestrians still wonder to themselves what set of circumstances could've led to a heavily tattooed young man to loudly exhort a confused-looking middle-aged driver to 'CONSIDER THE BON MOT! FOR IT IS ALL THE RAGE IN THE SALONS OF GAY PARIS'.

My favourite one was during summer last year. I'm quite a heavily built tattooed fellow and while I sometimes switch on drivers (usually when they've endangered pals of mine), I'd much rather deal with things in a more light hearted way if possible - I think it's more effective, and you get less stressed, and besides, it can be funnier.

This Nigerian guy in a Nissan cut me up coming across Dalston Junction, obviously hadn't seen me, and I wanted to let him know next time to look for cyclists, but didn't want to be combative about it. So I cycled up to his nearside window as we pootled along, and said 'would you mind using your indicators next time you're planning on changing lanes?'. He heard me but refused to look at me or acknowledge what I'd said; just accelerated and hoped I'd go away. And instead of getting annoyed, I thought this was kind of funny, and the sarcasm descended.

So I caught up with him (it's 6pm in Dalston, traffic is heavy) and said something like, 'OK, you're not an indicators sort of person. Still, you should let me know somehow - about a declarative poem?'. Again, wouldn't look at me, just accelerated off. So I caught up with him again, and bellowed though the open window about the communicative possibilities of the anonymous pamphlet - retro, definitely, but surely due for a resurgence one of these days. I kept this up for a good mile or so, each time suggesting new methods of communication for him to employ, never once swearing, never once losing the smile off my face.

Only when he got into the clear did he finally manage to wind up his window and speed off. But I kept it up even then; I like to think that pedestrians still wonder to themselves what set of circumstances could've led to a heavily tattooed young man to loudly exhort a confused-looking middle-aged driver to 'CONSIDER THE BON MOT! FOR IT IS ALL THE RAGE IN THE SALONS OF GAY PARIS'.

No wonder cyclists have such a bad name.

Forget it. Sheesh, life's too short. One time I chased a driver down and demanded he apologise. He did, I didn't feel more than 2% better, let it go.

No wonder cyclists have such a bad name.

Yeah a bit of sarcasm probably destroyed the guy's life, much worse than smashing his wing mirror off or threatening to kill him. Lighten up.

Not exactly a response from me, but I was once informed by a bus driver at a red light that I wasn't a bus while pedaling in a bus lane, had to laugh at the fact that he felt the need to tell me.

Having relaliated through swear words, body fluids, gestures and window bumps I've been shunted, chased, thretened etc....
I now just smile at the fact that most of the people having a go are fat fucks or stupid..

Sticking on thread though, favorite retorts are always the ones when I am just really nice..
can't beat not letting them getting to you for your own general well being..

I usually suggest that drivers should try cycling at some point; they might even lose some weight.

^^ and ^

Civil and reasonable... Are you guys trolling?