For Sale: Foffa Single Speed Custom-built bicycle

'The new Foffa "Turd" range - tough, tight or smooth the choice is yours...'

In Paris for rugby with best mate, sharing a room.

SAF is the best of blokes but had never used a bidet before.

Up in the morning, I find that best friend had used the "wrong" unit for his morning glory, whilst looking at the pictures in some elegent French fashion magazine.

Summoned friend into bathrom with an angry "mate, you need to sort this out!"

With merely a shrug, friend proceeded to rip centre spread from fashion magazine, offending article collected, and then dropped down the toilet?

No, offending article collected, and lauched out the window with the Versace spread from the March Vogue in close persuit. Just then, a scooter could be heard in the street below, skidding and taking what seemed like evasive action from an unseen deadly threat.

Oh, and Brian O'Driscol ran in three tries for Ireland's first victory in Paris for 26 years.

Up in the morning, I find that best friend had used the "wrong" unit for his morning glory, whilst looking at the pictures in some elegent French fashion magazine.

for a second I wasn't sure what sort of business your friend had done in there...

Great thread, if I knew how rep worked and how to spread it then it would be liberally applied all round.

I stopped a mate from buying a Foffa a few weeks ago, now he is going to build up a second hand track frame, i'll show him this thread.

Click "comment" in the bottom left corner of the post you want to rep or nerg and choose "I approve" or "I disapprove" respectively.

Here I sit in stinking vapour
Wondering who stole the toilet paper
Boss is calling,
no time to linger
watch out asshole,
here comes the finger.

...how to spread it then it would be liberally applied all round...

Not a good thing to say in this thread.

"Bobby Sands Sales thread"

8 pages and no unicornz: forum, I am disappoint...

Not a good thing to say in this thread.

Have some... lol!

London Fixed Gear and Scat Stories

Superb. But shouldn't the shoveller have a smile on his face as I'm pretty certain that unicorn poo smells divine.

Superb. But shouldn't the shoveller have a smile on his face as I'm pretty certain that unicorn poo smells divine.
I can't see anything... sadface.jpg

Why is it shitting aquafresh?

That's where Aquafresh comes from.

Unicorns also piss Listerine.

And come complete with a built in toothpick.
And cum little strands of dental floss.

Unicorns are worse than wasps, is what you're both saying, yeah? They're in league with dentists.

Dentists don't kill people: sugary drinks do!

Guns don't kill people: rappers do!

"Bobby Sands Sales thread"

Heh.

There's been some graffiti in Belfast with "Bobby Sands, Slimfast Champion". Not made with poo the haters aren't that hardcore.

Rag-roll Bob?

I laugh. Turtle head.

LOL. Reminded me of 2008. Uni graduation ceremony. I was sat next to someone I had never met before as we were just placed in alphabetical order. Start chatting to him and he's a nice lad, think his name was Frank.

20 minutes in (mid-speeches) he says "Fuck I just sharted big time". Not what I was expecting from someone I just met, but there we were, trapped in our seats with nowhere to go. Man needed moral support.

He rode it out. Even collected his diploma. Like a boss.

You've gotta follow through...

Uludag, Turkish ski resort 1991:
A week of hotel cuisine hits me in middle of a ski lesson. I make it to end of lesson and, to the surprise of (beginners) ski instructor, Mehmet, straightline it down the mountain as soon as lesson has ended. Unclip, dump poles and skis, rush into nearest hotel foyer. Find toilets, make it, relief. No. Problem. BIG PROBLEM. Belt of all-in-one skisuit tied into fatally tight knot. Start ripping frantically at clothes. Break zips, suit comes off. But too late, shit streams all over skisuit. Shit is flicked all over toilet stall and adjacents stalls, as I try to remove remainder of skisuit. Bystanding Turkish men want to beat me. I leave. Rush back to my hotel. Not allowed in with ski boots. Return to hire shop and swop hired boots for shoes, brownstreaked and reeking. Back to hotel. No hotel key. Passing cleaner opens room, poo drips slowly from skisuit trousers onto running shoes.