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Och, a ned shat down the chimney?

Standard insurance claim in Glasgow.

aye...while we're there...... http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Cue righteous Guardian kerfuffle....

Peas...

aye...while we're there...... http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Amazing.

aye...while we're there...... http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Best mumsnet discussion since its 'Anal' thread (which brings us back to the matter in question).

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/703760-My-DH-says-he-wants-to-take-me-up-the/AllOnOnePage

Och, a ned shat down the chimney?

Standard insurance claim in Glasgow.

Lang may yer Lum reek.

whats a ned in this context?

A stupid scotsman.

According to wiki:

Ned is a derogatory term applied in Scotland to hooligans, louts or petty criminals, latterly with the stereotypical implication that they wear casual sports clothes. Such usage in Glasgow dates back to the 1960s or earlier. Wikipedia

whats a ned in this context?

Non-educated drunkard.

Non-educated drunkard.

Nearly, NED stands for Non Educated Delinquent.

Mine was more accurate - it's Scotland after all.

You can only really tell if they are drunk if you can see the empty buckfast bottles.

There's no bucky here.

I think they're missing something.

Nearly, NED stands for Non Educated Delinquent.

That's an acronym that appeared long after the term existed, no?

"Folk etymology".

Though a yob is a backward boy.

Caw

Nearly, NED stands for Non Educated Delinquent.

So a wee ned would be piss non-educated delinquent or what?

The Scots speak JOCKINESE,its like Japanese nobody can understand it.I worked with a jock everyday for 4 years and he said the worst insult he could throw my way was to call me a FUCKING ENGLISHMAN

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/703760-My-DH-says-he-wants-to-take-me-up-the/AllOnOnePage

Hilarious!

The Scots speak JOCKINESE,its like Japanese nobody can understand it.I worked with a jock everyday for 4 years and he said the worst insult he could throw my way was to call me a FUCKING ENGLISHMAN

Sasanack.

Sytex (a bloke I worked with) is on his way home from the pub when he realises he needs a shit. He gets a move on, but he can feel it coming, a hot weight in his gut like a gallon of chilli.
He's got his arse cheeks clenched, swearing and mincing up his driveway with his knees together, desperately fumbling in his pockets for his keys.
He finds the keys.
Gets his key in the door.
Turns the key.
And shits himself apocalyptically.
Everything comes out, a full and complete bowel evacuation.
He sighs, goes inside and John Wayne's his way to the kitchen. He doesn't dare risk going upstairs.
He peels off his kecks and is impressed to find he's shat himself from knees to middle back and right round to his bollocks.
He hoses off his pants in the sink and slings them in the washer, then tries to work out how to clean himself up.
He decides to run the tap, and just get his shitty arse right into the sink.
He hoists himself up, then slides backwards...
...and wedges himself firmly under the tap.
Water is going everywhere, his back acting like a thumb over the tap. It's blasting water into the sink, spraying shit all over the place. He's doubled over like a dirty humpty dumpty with his belly against his knees and his legs dangling, screaming and spluttering, trying to reach behind himself for the tap to turn it off.
Then he looks up and sees his wife stood in the doorway with half a dozen of her work colleagues. They'd just got a taxi back from a restaurant for a nightcap at Chez Sytex.
They stare at him, a naked, shit smeared man thrashing around in a sink, look at the huge pool of shitty water on the floor, then they leave, closing the door quickly and quietly.
He waits a bit, tried to think of something to say, then just shouts, "GO ON! FUCK OFF OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!"
He eventually gets free.
His wife eventually speaks to him again, weeks later.