Ways not to lock your bike

this ^^^ is not cool

this ^^^ is not cool

This is someone quite possibly after your bike... that is a significant lock for that orange piece of shit...

(If the orange piece of shit is yours, sorry...)

are you gonna nick that silver bike after the owner comes back to find you have 'accidently' put your mammoth lock through your orange thing and their very own steel and goes home deciding to return tomorrow?

^that guy beat me to it.

i am sitting in a cafe opposite and waiting..

Can you actually call the police or fire brigade or some shit if this happens?

This is someone quite possibly after your bike... that is a significant lock for that orange piece of shit...

(If the orange piece of shit is yours, sorry...)

For what it's worth, my lock is worth about 3 times the value of my 'to the shops' bike, so this may not be anything sinister.

Definite theft attempt.

The size of that lock means it would take a concerted effort to get it between your seat stay and spokes. That ain't no accident.

Don't take your eyes off the bike and get someone along with bolt croppers sharpish.

Here in smashing old Cambridge we have folk called City Rangers who will sort this type of thing. Anything similar in the big smoke?

And put some socks on.

yep 100% thief attempt. they do it in the hope you will leave it over night.
if you do they go back in the middle of the night and bust your lock off.

Undo their forks and take your bike and the lock away for easy home-cutting

Oh sorry is the lock through the stand too? Can't see very well on this screen

Fuckers. Cut that shit. They're trying to rob ya!
Call someone with a good saw

And put some socks on.

ankle socks may as well be no socks

exposed ankles, at this time of year?

the lock was through the stand. I was in the British Library but using the only available bike rack on Euston Rd, so I went back into the library and asked them to announce on the speaker for any orange heavy duty bike to go and re-lock it, but asking a librarian to purposefully make noise in a library isn't easy. so i sat, and i sat, and i sat... and then at about 7 the bike owner had returned and i don't know whether he was pretending or not (he looked pretty surprised to see me turn up so quickly on his arrival) but he pleaded ignorance. what canya do

Shit on his saddle.

^Tynans anti theft paste

"Shit on his saddle."

Shit on this, shit on that... Shitting on stuff makes a very strong statement, I agree, but with you it's like and obsession.

You're getting close to being shat on with talk like that.

Generally speaking, if one were to go to the police/fire station, would they cut off a wayward lock for you?

Generally speaking, if one were to go to the police/fire station, would they cut off a wayward lock for you?

Quite some time ago, when I was working as a cycle courier, I locked my bike to some traffic lights in Victoria (SW1 not NSW) with an Oxford Revolver lock. The lock jammed so I was screwed. I saw a policeman passing by and asked him for advice; he said 999 it for the fire brigade. That was good enough for me, so I rang the emergency services about a jammed lock. Unfortunately they said it was something they would not do, in case it wasn’t my bike, and suggested the police. The Met had a special team that went around central London removing bikes regarded as security risks. I rang them but they were busy at the Albert Hall, so I got a cab to an HSS hire shop on Fulham Road for an angle grinder, not that I had ever used one. The assistant showed me how it worked, it started first time. I bought a new cutting disc and got a cab back to my bike. I then spent about an hour trying to fire up the angle grinder, to no avail. Funny thing was, I was outside a Barclays bank (the one that was on Grosvenor Gardens) messing with an angle grinder all that time and no one said a word to me. Anyway, the special police unit did turn up and they had some hydraulic bolt cutters that went through the lock in about 10 seconds.

Frigid apologue homie

the lock was through the stand. I was in the British Library but using the only available bike rack on Euston Rd, so I went back into the library and asked them to announce on the speaker for any orange heavy duty bike to go and re-lock it, but asking a librarian to purposefully make noise in a library isn't easy. so i sat, and i sat, and i sat... and then at about 7 the bike owner had returned and i don't know whether he was pretending or not (he looked pretty surprised to see me turn up so quickly on his arrival) but he pleaded ignorance. what canya do

At least report this online so it adds to the numbers of this kind of attempted theft in that area.

my bike got stripped over there
a library, one would think

Quite some time ago, when I was working as a cycle courier, I locked my bike to some traffic lights in Victoria (SW1 not NSW) with an Oxford Revolver lock. The lock jammed so I was screwed. I saw a policeman passing by and asked him for advice; he said 999 it for the fire brigade. That was good enough for me, so I rang the emergency services about a jammed lock. Unfortunately they said it was something they would not do, in case it wasn’t my bike, and suggested the police. The Met had a special team that went around central London removing bikes regarded as security risks. I rang them but they were busy at the Albert Hall, so I got a cab to an HSS hire shop on Fulham Road for an angle grinder, not that I had ever used one. The assistant showed me how it worked, it started first time. I bought a new cutting disc and got a cab back to my bike. I then spent about an hour trying to fire up the angle grinder, to no avail. Funny thing was, I was outside a Barclays bank (the one that was on Grosvenor Gardens) messing with an angle grinder all that time and no one said a word to me. Anyway, the special police unit did turn up and they had some hydraulic bolt cutters that went through the lock in about 10 seconds.

Cheers. I'll get the special police unit on the case next time. Fun story too (for realz)