Please report dangerous drivers to the police - Roadsafe. Report to plod, not just whinge here.

There were lots of cyclists. I am very disappointed the guys in the car weren't beaten to death.

From your correspondent North of the border:
http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/transport/cyclist-blamed-for-crash-between-tram-and-bus-1-3525763

Witnesses told how the cyclist – who was not wearing fluorescent clothing – weaved in and out of traffic before springing from the pavement into the roadway.

doesn't involve cyclists https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnsdc7cTPuU

Fakety fake. Squirrels aren't nocturnal.

Some charlie's parked half on the pavement on double yellows outside KFC near the station, he pulls out without indicating or checking as I pass, I shout "What the fxxx are you doing?", he slams the brakes on in a panic then shouts abuse, pulls up behind me at the traffic lights and revs his engine. BRRRRM. So close to having a word but didn't. And my earworm was the theme tune from The Golden Girls. All day.

Thank you for being a friend...

Argh!!!

Just roadsafed a van driver I spotted on Queensbridge road on Monday evening. He was driving badly, got closer and realised this was because he was having a facetime video call thing whilst heading north on QB road, shortly thereafter blew through a zebra crossing that already had a lady pedestrian halfway across it, she had to jump backwards to avoid being hit by him.

It was a white Vauxhall van, being driven by a bald turkish/mediterranean guy. I remembered the reg as MT55CNV but having submitted it to roadsafe I just checked on one of those insurance things and it doesn't seem to exist. This annoys me.

quelle suprise

I think as a balance someone should upload some videos where nothing happens or when it's a pleasant, lovely ride, after overdosing on the videos on this thread, each time I'm shoulder checking on the roads while riding, after the 3rd shoulder check I'm expecting something terrible to happen...........

In my experience and from a lot of the videos here there seem to be 3 kinds of anular drivers which cause trouble for cyclists

A) The arrogant/belligerent driver, normally drives a German car, doesn't see why they should, slow/give way/leave space/wait 5 seconds before overtaking. Normally the worst kind of cunt on the road.

B) The dippy driver. The kind of driver that is not really aware what the hell is going on around them. The kind of driver terrified of crossing the central line so will totter past leaving you 3 cm of clearance or will just slowly move into your path as if you don't exist. Normally nervous, when called out will claim naivety, that they hadn't seen you, weren't aware of doing anything wrong, often an older person, probably never read a highway code or if they did it was in the 50's

C) My personal least favourite: The custodian of the road, this guy will mete out justice for any perceived wrongdoing, whether or not a rule actually exists. If he thinks you have broken some part of the highway code he has made up in his head he will think nothing of passing you deliberately closely to teach you a lesson about how dangerous it is on the road.

Obviously there are combinations and other general cunts on the road but normally when I'm reduced to spitting rage it's because of one of these 3 types, but spitting rage isn't the best approach. One thing I took from that 'Complainers' series is that when there is a confrontation, one person assumes the role of an adult/parent and the other a child/adolescent and it does seem to be true so rather than screaming obscenities or getting angry it's better to have a range of tactics, some will work better with some types. For Cat A fucktards I've found the slow handclap or sarcastic 'nice one' or 'that was really great/impressive' tends to work best, when you finally catch them which in most cases you will, it shows them the pointlessness of their manoeuvre, if they start mouthing off, just sarcastically agree with whatever they say, sometimes I find it irks them if you point out that they have an expensive car so they are obviously much better than everyone else, in a couple of cases I've said this to the person has really changed their attitude in an attempt to prove that they are not actually like that, even if they are, and a cunt to boot, often these people are looking for an argument or for some 'respect' so give neither. With Cat A's it's definitely best to remain calm, not shout or get aggressive, knowing that they'll never know the simple pleasure of riding a bike and that no one, not even their children will truly love them and that before they are even dead their 'loved ones' will be working out who gets what should be enough solace.

Another approach, and this should work with all 3 is to ask 'Why do you think it's OK to do that?' this will more than likely be met with ' you were in the middle of the road' blah blah blah to which you should reply: 'I didn't ask you why you did it, there is no good reason for you to have done that, I asked you why you thought it was OK to do that?' to which their brain will probably lock up while they try to work out what exactly you are asking and then what to answer, either way it will give you 10 seconds to shit on their bonnet, d lock their face off or just fuck off laughing while they are still thinking about what a total cunt they are. Aggression only works if a) you know what the fuck you are doing and you are sure you aren't out gunned and have a good escape route and preferably no witnesses. I've managed to change some attitudes, normally of Cat C fucktards when I've caught them by shouting and banging on their car roof, normally you can tell the kind this will work with because they will punish you and then fuck off as if their life depended on it and when you do catch them you can almost smell them shitting themselves, school teachery middle aged men basically. But the best thing is to remain calm and relaxed. My final pearl of wisdom from when I studied Wing Chun Kung Fu, always remain calm . After a few years studying I can summarise (although there is a little more to it) learn to understand when it's no longer talking and it's turned into a fight, at this point get in the first punch and keep punching until they go down, then fuck off, but you have to learn a good, direct punching technique BUT if you remain calm, it should never happen and of course you should avoid violence wherever possible, if you (vocally) engage a driver adopt the adult role but don't be patronising, maybe finally after we have all patiently explained that it is not OK to be aggressive towards cyclists to every single cunty driver we can all get along quite nicely. Sorry for the long post and double sorry if this has been said better somewhere else of if I'm simply saying things everyone knows, I'm just trying to share some observations I've picked up along the way, although it does take a lot of discipline to calm the raging shouty beast inside, especially when the blood is up and the adrenaline racing. Finally finally finally if you intend to wind up a driver and it only works with males, it's very simple, simply say 'that isn't a woman's car?' with seemingly genuine curiosity, this will make most men instantly lose their shit so make sure you've got a good escape route, the good thing about this is that most people especially the kind of guys that drive, let's say a Megane sport, are that insecure that it will haunt them, they will never quite be sure.

Genuinely, when I ride on the road, it's extremely rare for me these days to have a ride where everything goes well. There seems to be always one douchebag who at the best makes you fear for your life, at the worst makes you take evasive action.

I'm not sure what I / we did to deserve this state of affairs.

Rear ended by silver Mercedes private hire cab M10 BRU (bru! bru!) while waiting in traffic on the OKR yesterday. He gave no shits.

^^^ tl;dr many drivers are twats, shit on their bonnet

Bike ok?

@mellion

D Lock their face off

Haha, did lol.

Yeah, was trackstanding on the fixieskidder so just got jolted forwards. Wheel true/no hop, stayed clipped in. Naïvely expected more than a lazy "shit happens" shrug, considering the force and how things could have turned out if I couldn't have moved forward so freely.
Was erranding in a hurry so let it slide, when I really should have d-locked in his bumper* while inspecting everything for damage.

*would not have actually done this, but a his word against mine about 'you just smashed in my bumper with your lock' 'no, you did that when you drove in to me' seems oddly entertaining in my mind.

Case in fucking point

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgB_17g6u4Y

Oh goody, another Howard vid. We'll get you one day!

either way it will give you 10 seconds to shit on their bonnet, d lock their face off or just fuck off laughing while they are still thinking about what a total cunt they are.

Much #rep deserved.

I just had a rather bizarre one on my way back in from a club ride, riding alone at this point.

Driver parked on the right, facing forwards, pulls across the road in front of me, so I slow down and freewheel, he then slows right down before doing a sudden jab on his brakes before pulling over to the left and telling me to "Get off my arse you fucking prick". I responded in kind, and cycled off.

I'm more puzzled than anything, what was he possible hoping to achieve? Make me crash into his bumper and damage his car? Why?

And it was his fault for pulling into a space that wasn't there, the bellend.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bw1UHu3IcAAPyql.jpg

Did you check if there was a blue badge displayed anywhere?

Are you insinuating that any true blue tory is (mentally) disabled?

Are you insinuating that any true blue tory is (mentally) disabled?

Oh, James. Don't you get *any*thing? :)

Another bizarre one, I'm on the main road, approaching a left turn at a junction I want to take, my road's empty, car's waiting to pull out of the road I want to turn into so I indicate left clearly, car doesn't move, it waits till I've turned in before edging out. Confused me for ages. Did the driver think: "Cyclists, tchuh, indicating to wind me up!"? or did they think it was a fake indication and I was going to smash into them and claim millions of pounds compensation? 7.2% of my brain wanted to go back and ask if they they were calling me a liar.