Interesting/unusual/rare/odd experiences/visits/tales

I once knocked the poet and critic Al Alvarez out of a poker tournament that I went on to win, and he said about the final stage 'that was the best display of heads-up play I've seen for years'.

You are Victoria Coren and I claim my £5.

Being up close in person to Cat Deeley in person, with CJ at CD:UK

Having two of the original Sugababes remembering me from Primary school and waving at me...

Being up close in person to Cat Deeley in person, with CJ at CD:UK.

i've heard from a reliable source that Cat Deeley is a filthy Bisexual in real life.

i mean filthy in the good way.

graham will know.

Ray Liotta cycled past me in new york, I spent ages trying to explain to my girlfriend who he was, she kept saying 'who's raleigh otter?'
Same week i stayed the same hotel as Banksy while he tried to buy back old paintings he'd done and given away.

I stopped Keith Chegwin from stealing my mum's cat. The thieving bastard.

he tried to pinch your mum's pussy?

I stopped Keith Chegwin from stealing my mum's cat. The thieving bastard.
Defiance Ohio stole my kitten :(

i've heard from a reliable source that Cat Deeley is a filthy Bisexual in real life.

i mean filthy in the good way.

....

he tried to pinch your mum's pussy?

Indeed. What a cad and a bounder!

I have lots of Cheggers stories, he's a bit of a character.

I guess this is the bit where i start getting shit...

(pravvy, hillbilly, etc)

At uni I once had to hide half a tonne of sand (stolen from Camber Sands) in our spare bedroom for a week

Yeah, Scorcher is the man for interesting tales!

One time, in the late seventies, my family went for a beach holiday, somewhere down south.
No idea where.
My dad did all the driving.
Me and my brothers were just noisy luggage.
It was a cracking hot day, not a cloud in the sky, and we were playing on the beach.
The sky when dark, and we heard a weird humming noise. My mum and dad were screaming at us to come to them, beckoning us to run up the beach, but to keep low.
We ran as fast as we could, bent double, and this weird humming seemed to vibrate above us. My folks grabbed us and bundled us into the car, and we all looked out of the front window.
A vast swarm of bees had flown over the beach and was flying out to sea, but seemed to loose direction, and started drifting in the sky, swirling about.
Then it suddenly descended.
A bloke was in a little wooden dinghy, and he was wearing a yellow t shirt.
All of a sudden, the shirt went black.
It took the lifeguards an hour to gently tow him to shore, but he didn't move a muscle.
He was catatonic with shock.
The beekeeper came up and plucked the queen off his chest, and put it into hives he had brought with him in a converted van, and all the bees drifted off the bloke and onto the hives.
I can still remember the look on the poor bloke's face as they loaded him onto the ambulance.
Totally blank, staring at nothing.
I tend to have my holidays in Yorkshire now, thank you very much.

I once went to a relatives house on holiday and on the first morning i blocked the toilet with a huge shit, then when i flushed the toilet again to try and get it down, the toilet and bits of shit overflowed in the bathroom. There was no toilet roll left so picked up the shit with my hands and forced them and the bigger shit round the u-bend with my hands so the water would go down. then i mopped up the water on the bathroom floor with some towels, put them in the bottom of the washing basket and washed my hands. Job done. Beware american toilets that have narrow u bends.

So, so grim.
But I really understand where you're coming from.

Had a party in a sewer under Buckingham Palace
Abseiled into a crypt full of dead bodies
Crawled over human bones in mass graves under Paris
been inside untold amounts of derelict asylums and other buildings
traveled on the road of death in Bolivia when it was a two way road on the back of a banana truck
eaten anaconda, guinea pig, dog, lama

I am sure I have done more but cant think of much at the moment

I've been to 48 of the fifty states on a freight train, been to Alaska working on a boat. Floated on logs down a river with a big pole poking them to make sure they don't get stuck, hitch hiked the trans-canda highway. worked on a winery, had my ribs broken and left for dead in a ditch by rail road bulls, toured with punk bands, managed a venue, welded my own bike, trained as a parametic and ridden along in ambulances, partied with rock stars, and been back stage at fashion shows and at the after parties. I've lived in two countries and 3 cities, been married once, it didn't work out.

I tun 23 in two weeks.

I once hand-fed a flock of vultures.

I went on holiday to Elevenerife.

I tun 23 in two weeks.

and modest to boot

I went on holiday to Elevenerife.

I went to Two York.

That's a lie. I've never been to the States.

and modest to boot

:)

I once went to a relatives house on holiday and on the first morning i blocked the toilet with a huge shit, then when i flushed the toilet again to try and get it down, the toilet and bits of shit overflowed in the bathroom. There was no toilet roll left so picked up the shit with my hands and forced them and the bigger shit round the u-bend with my hands so the water would go down. then i mopped up the water on the bathroom floor with some towels, put them in the bottom of the washing basket and washed my hands. Job done. Beware american toilets that have narrow u bends.

Classic!.

and modest to boot

just young, and invincible.

Saved 27 peoples lives when the pilot of the plane died from heart failure and I managed to get the plane down. Shame really that there where 53 people on board and that I crashed.