Any question answered...

My track wheels have Zenith track hubs and the lock nuts aren't grippy enough meaning it's hard to tighten the track nuts down because the whole hub just spins in the track ends. I want to replace the lock nuts with ones that are better serrated, but the existing ones seem to be bearing covers as well as lock nuts. Does anyone know where I can replacements?
They look like this:

it's hard to tighten the track nuts down

Tighten sequentially, or better still use chain tugs then you won't need to apply more than about 5Nm

Tighten sequentially

I do this, as soon as one starts to grip the hub just spins

Then tighten the other? Don't they just start tightening against each other?

Use two wrenches, if one of them is turning the axle then the other one will be tightening the opposite side. At some point, the friction will swap sides and the axle will stop and the nut you're turning will tighten.

Or use tugs. My custom lock nuts are perfectly smooth stainless steel and don't cause any issues because it only takes 5Nm on the M6 screws to keep everything in place.

That works but not before the wheel has creeped forward in the track ends a bit and made the chain slack. I'd rather not be using 2 spanners and using both hands as I like to keep one hand between wheel/seat tube to get the right chain tension.

That works but not before the wheel has creeped forward...I like to keep one hand between wheel/seat tube to get the right chain tension.

Did I mention chain tugs?

I'd rather have lock nuts that grip the track ends, hence asking if anyone knew where to get some that will fit my hubs.

I'd rather have lock nuts that grip the track ends

I know, but you're wrong to want that :)

asking if anyone knew where to get some that will fit my hubs

Make a mandrel to hold the stock parts, chuck them up in your lathe, face off 4mm, chuck them in your dividing head on the mill and re-cut the wrench flats, reassemble and fill up the space with Shimano lock nuts.

I think the actual problem isn't the smooth lock nuts, even if you refuse to see sense on the chain tug issue, it's your track ends. If they are not flat, smooth and parallel, you're constantly fighting the desire of the lock nut to skate across the high points and drop into the low points.

You ought to suggest chain tugs.

Have you considered a geared road bike with vertical dropouts?

Anyone know what hoses I need to connect these Shimano ST-RS685 levers and BR-RS785 calipers? There seems to be some fixtures in the bag so do I just need hose rather than a hose kit? Or are there extra parts I’ll need? Any help greatly appreciated.

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I'd like a road 12mm x 100mm through axle (pinnacle Arkose fork) that I can use a 'security' device on, like a Helox insert.

Who can sell me such a thing? I see that Helox do their own axles. Are there other options?

Maxle with a jubiliee clip over the lever, covered in tape.

Got a photo?

No, but I did it on my old beater with a QR. Basically just clamp the QR shut with a jubilee clip for that extra bit of deterrent.

Like this but without the slot

Is there a preferred courier for getting a piece of furniture (a folding cot) across london?

Honestly the 'quick release' TA on it right now is a massive faff enough to undo. I've not figured it out properly yet - seems like you need to squish the axle with the qr lever as you turn it or something. security through obscurity.

I kinda want to replace it with something that's much easier to remove...but only if you have the right key.

Pinhead seem to do through axles for cheaper than Hexlox

Alternatively:
anyone with a cargo bike want to earn the price of delivering a foldable cot from SE26 to Islington?

Is the planet X el guapo rear hub the same as any other generic hub (e.g. a novatech) for the purposes of replacing a feeehub?

Does anyone know anything about shipping container rates? I am interested in shipping one or two containers, that in this hypothetical situation, I own and do not have to rent, from Britain to East Africa, either Mombasa or Dar es Salaam.

I have no idea where to start looking... Has anyone ever shipped a container abroad?

You said any question...

Generally you do not "rent" the conntainer, your shippers will send one to your address to load and generally wait and then take to your chosen container port. You need to check routing as there can be long gaps between some countries.
The other thing of note is size, 20ft or 40 ft being the most common. You do not want to make a mistake when calculating this. Remember stuff will need to be loaded in and removed at the other end probably using a forklift or similar. I would usually use a 3d modelling program to do a mock up.

I need an adaptor to make my Sram level brakes work with my surly karate monkey fork (51mm is disc mount). The distributor forgot to include one. Does anyone know what adaptor I'd need?

Something like this
http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/mobile/lifeline-disc-brake-adaptor-is-to-post/rp-prod155579