Crap 'Buzzwords'

probably a re but:

"hot-desking"

"Can you evidence this?"

I keep asking members of the planning team that I work with simple questions to be answered with "We don't know what that looks like yet". They seem incapable of saying "I don't know"

"I want to make sure we are aligned on timings" makes for an ideal verbose alternative to "what time shall we meet?"

Perceived value.

Thats why we've sold exactly none of them, fuckwits.

Had to google this one 'Silo mentality'.

Had to google this one 'Silo mentality'.

Only appropriate if you work in a nuclear bunker.

"Going forward" has been banned from the weekly publication where I work.

Anyone heard the word 'theatre' used to describe different markets or operating businesses? I heard it used a bunch in a meeting yesterday and it sounds like the sort of garbage I'm likely to hear more and more of as I get more closely involved with this particular client...

"We should have a think about which theatres we want to play this strategy out in"

...

Politicians use it a lot, I've noticed.

Also, I can't stand when people un-necessarily shorten words... Example: someone I work with calls illustrations "illo's". Makes the blood boil.

Australians possess the ability to do that with nearly ALL names.

Rail networks and TFL seem to think that the word 'Engineering' is now like totally 1980's. I'm thinking of like an old man in a hut in Crewe with a pencil drawing a plane, Hes like really sad as he's close to retirement? What we really need is to use some positivity when we're f'king up peoples journeys day in, day out. How about we call Engineering works 'Upgrade plans'. Its like loads better, hey, I know its taken 4 hours to do a 20 minute journey but they're upgrading! just like a computer you know?

Lets get Jason in creative to do some mock ups by the end of play and we can share some of the content currently ringfenced for the blog on the social networking microsite that way we maximise the collaborative nature of this opportunity....

This lot ^^^ wound me up a bit, to be fair......like.

stretch target

That sounds like an expression used on a porn shoot.

The new crap phrase in our business is 'you own it' - well no I don't own it, I manage an office that contributes a profit towards the directors wages and the shareholders dividends...

What made me really laugh was at a meeting last week, one of the directors was hosting a meeting and said 'remember, you own it, whatever'.... sounds like he wasn't buying into it either.

Obviously this anecdote would be funnier if you were at the meeting....

I heard it used a bunch in a meeting yesterday and it sounds like the sort of garbage I'm likely to hear more and more of as I get more closely involved with this particular client...

pot, kettle?

Silo's

New job, new boss:

Granularity instead of detail
Socializing a concept - telling people your idea (US spelling just seems apt for him)
"We live our mantra"

@crafty: Isn't he in Gnarls Barkley?

Australians possess the ability to do that with nearly ALL names.

Yep, but we also lengthen some just to keep you dirty forruns honest.

Smithy being a common one I'm sure you could work out.

Anyone heard the word 'theatre' used to describe different markets or operating businesses? I heard it used a bunch in a meeting yesterday and it sounds like the sort of garbage I'm likely to hear more and more of as I get more closely involved with this particular client...

"We should have a think about which theatres we want to play this strategy out in"

...

They're borrowing from the military usage of Theatre- see many WWII films etc.

Pacific theatre of operations, for example.

"Theatre of dreams" is the monicker attributed to ManUre's stadium.

Wasn't last season.

Football thread >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I used to chef one of the places I worked had an open kitchen which was justified by the owner saying "its all for the theatre of the kitchen" just in case you are wondering he is the personification of a 50 year old crack whore's infected snatch.

Gordon Ramsey?

No this guy makes Gordon Ramsay look like a true gentleman who tells nothing but the truth. He gave up a supposedly successful career in marketing to set up a restaurant chain that consists of one restaurant that has gone bust twice.