Crap 'Buzzwords'

'on the fly'

I'm on a call right now.

Someone just said "I will be sign-offing today".

Ugh.

Not quite a buzzword, but abuse of the word 'revert'. It is not a synonym for 'respond'.

I'm not so sure. Let's take it offline and I'll circle back to you by close of play.

'Solutions architect' is abominable!

Uh oh! There's some innovation happening in a silo! Help me stop it with out-of-the-box thinking and let's benchmark some pain points!

Curating

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/tossers-curating-everything-2015041697425

.

We'll be needing about 10 000 of these.

I'm lost without an empathy map.

Not sure where to put this but I've just seen a conference itinerary which includes a specific slot for networking.

That's normal isn't it? They usually have a breakfast slot, a morning break, lunch, and afternoon break and evening drinks and often put something like:

12:30-13:30 - Lunch/Networking (Main foyer)

or somesuch.

Might well be normal, it was the first time I've noticed it and it was caused an eyebrow raise. It's not something you need to suggest.

12.30-13.30 - A break to eat the available food and chat among yourselves

Are you suggesting 'a break to eat the available food' is better than 'lunch'?

'Lunch' - posh jargonistic twatspeak. 'The bit when we go into the other room eat the sarnies and those breaded things, are they fish or chicken, I can never tell' is what it says on our agenda - sorry, list of stuff we'll do.

Lunch, ffs

12.30 - 13.30 - Tepid beige buffet and avoiding eye contact

My boss says "reaching out" a lot.

I told one of the other guys that if he listened out for it he'd hear it a lot.

I also told him to substitute the word "out" with "around" and she's just bollocked him for almost pissing himself.

I think that simply writing "Lunch" might be a bit vague, wouldn't hurt to add a bit more detail to avoid potential confusion.

/fills complimentary conference musette with iceland vol au vents.

"we may find this hard to land on a sixpence"

"Design Catalyst" in the ".transformation" department.

My new job title according to the business cards that arrived on my desk yesterday. I've asked to have it changed to self-facilitating media node.

I can't work out what that means you do, which I reckon means it's a silly title, as it doesn't fulfil the basic role of a title.

is it ".transformation" with the dot?

please say yes

Yes, dot and all. Can you guess my actual job from that?

You give encouragement to the people who sort out how the robots turn into cars and cassettes and that?