DAO4 NXM - Cnut of the day

If you want to sound knowledgeable in the police station...

OFFENCE WORDING:
On **(..SPECIFY DATE..) at **(..SPECIFY TOWNSHIP..) being the driver of a mechanically propelled vehicle namely **(..SPECIFY VEHICLE MAKE AND INDEX NUMBER..) owing to the presence of which on a
(A)[road,]
(B)[public place]
namely **(..SPECIFY ROAD OR PUBLIC PLACE AND LOCATION..) an accident occurred whereby
(C)[personal injury]
(D)[damage]
was caused to
(E)[another person,]
(F)[another vehicle,]
(G)[an animal not in or on that vehicle or a trailer drawn by it,]
(H)[property forming part of the land on which the road was situated or land adjacent to it,]
failed to stop and on being required by a person having reasonable grounds for so requiring failed to give your name and address and the name and address of the owner and the identification marks of the vehicle
LEGISLATION:
Contrary to section 170(4) of the Road Traffic Act 1988 and Schedule 2 to the Road Traffic Offenders Act 1988.
POINTS TO PROVE:
date and location
being the driver
of mechanically propelled vehicle
when an accident occurred
causing personal injury/damage
to another person/another vehicle/animal not in that vehicle/trailer drawn by that vehicle
failed to stop
when being required by a person having reasonable grounds
and failed to give particulars
POWERS OF ARREST:
Arrest without warrant (in certain circumstances)
MODE OF TRIAL AND FILE PREPARATION:
Summary, imprisonable
PENALTY SUMMARY:
Six months imprisonment and / or a fine not exceeding level five on the standard scale.
Obligatory endorsement - licence endorsed five to ten penalty points.
RELEVANT LAW:
Road Traffic Act 1988

RELEVANT LEGAL TOPIC:
driver duty to stop & report road accident

When I went over someone's bonnet earlier in the year (they were pulling across me, not having seen me, attempting to go the wrong way down a one-way street), the police couldn't have been less interested. In fairness to them, I wasn't injured and the driver gave me her details.

The damage to my bike was minor (torn bar tape), and besides the police said they wouldn't get involved - it was between me and her insurers.

I asked to fill out an incident form but was told that it would simply be a record for me that I had told them - it would not be used for TfL etc etc. So god knows why anybody would bother filling it out.

Sooooo this is all a long-winded way of saying that if you weren't injured and you got the driver's details, then don't bother filling out a form. However if they absconded then the police should deffo be interested.

it simple - the more we report those incident, the more attention it should get from the police, same go to bike theft as well, the more we report it the more likely they'll end up focusing on it as a serious crime.

I am no lawyer, please take this as highly inaccurate in terms of the finer points but probably along the right lines...

First, this is a collision from the rear. Under law, it is entirely the fault of the driver at the back. So you have the right to claim your damages off their insurance. And you should do. That includes damage to your bike, loss of earnings etc. End of

I believe you can ask for the car drivers name and address. Obviously, you have to sound like you really mean to go through with the prosecution (say you have a cousin who is a top barrister who will handle the case for you) otherwise they might hesitate to hand his details out.

Not so. There is usually a presumption of fault on behalf of the driver in the instance of a rear end collision, but this is not an automatic fault. If there is an indication of unreasonable action by the person in front (i.e. you could have popped out of a side road and slammed on the brakes) then the police or loss adjusters will investigate and apportion blame.

Don't need to demonstrate an intent to prosecute to request details. You only have to demonstrate a reasonable right to claim against the driver for his actions.

was thinking of wiping shit on her car... but the prawns idea is better... think I'll do a combination of both :-)

Shit works best when wiped under door handles, it's the only part of the car necessary to touch to get inside.

haha! I posted this in the 'bellends at work thread':

Old surfie trick: poo in a plastic bag, then push it under the door handle of his/her car. Wipe clean to hide any sign of faecal matter. Stand back. Presto.

it simple - the more we report those incident, the more attention it should get from the police, same go to bike theft as well, the more we report it the more likely they'll end up focusing on it as a serious crime.

Yes I agree with you Ed - but what I was saying that my incident was deemed non-reportable by the police. I tried to report it, they refused because there were no injuries requiring medical treatment and driver handed over details. Only point I was making was that in the absence of those things, don't bother filling in lengthy forms because you will end up throwing them in the bin, as I did!

Ever wonder why people don't tend to report thing? the lengthy fucking forms to fill-in.

haha! I posted this in the 'bellends at work thread':

Shit works best when wiped under door handles, it's the only part of the car necessary to touch to get inside.

Do you really really fancy picking up some shit and wipe it? How do you collect it? In the park, your own or early morning in Victoria Street? Do you keep it in your bag all day waiting for your act of revenge?

You are a strange lot :)

hence the 'surfie' comment, vv.

it significantly easier to curl one out into a plastic bag when you are at the beach. you can just nip behind a dune, pull your boardies down and shoot for the coles bag. 3 points.

i personally have one of those piping things a baker uses loaded up in my bottle cage, ready for action.

^^ haha - you have to use your own otherwise it's just not got that personal touch ;-)

eeeewwwww

eeeewwwww

Exactly, that's the whole point

Ever wonder why people don't tend to report thing? the lengthy fucking forms to fill-in.

i couldn't even be bothered to read those posts let alone bother to find and fill the forms, they are made that hard to deter people... worked well in this case

shit under the door handles first thing in the morning and staying with them all day... thats a mind fk, the only down side is the humilation isn't public

i know a woman who scratch "cunt" into this wanker of a mans bonnet and he drove it under the darkness of night to hide it in a garage so nobody saw it.. a damaged pride can't be washed off so easily ;)

Chap I used to work for was a charming gentleman- when he chose to split up with his girlfriend in a club, in front of all his and her mates she slapped him.

He slapped her back- as I said, nice chap.

She left in floods of tears, then spotting his car she scratched "WANKER" from the headlights to the tail lights, no panel untouched.

Which was good- but what was even better was that he was the manager of a hire car branch, and he had taken a car (the one that night) that was way above his alloted level.

So he had no way of explaining how it happened, the car got left at the back of the lot for ages, until we ran out of cars to use to go and pick up other hire cars.

In the end we just used to call the car the wanker- as in "you got the keys to the wanker?"

I hope he enjoyed that daily refresh of his shame.

^^ haha - you have to use your own otherwise it's just not got that personal touch ;-)

but it has your dna on it.

you people have a lot to learn about revenge, and how to exact it without being caught.

but these drivers are getting out of hand, this whole mobile phone thing is really pissing me off

but it has your dna on it.

you people have a lot to learn about revenge, and how to exact it without being caught.

but these drivers are getting out of hand, this whole mobile phone thing is really pissing me off

This ain't CSI Miami. IF they could manage to trace the DNA in the faecal matter back to me I'd buy 'em a sack of spuds and bottle of what they like. I'm not on any data base, and even then, the cops would just tell them to hose down the car and stop wasting their time. Remember - there is no actual damage here - just a very stinky inconvenience. If you cause actual damage, you really need to worry about being caught and could be charged - the reason I suggested the 2 methods above in the first place.

+1 on mobile phones & drivers

that kind of complacency get's you caught.

never underestimate your enemy, always overestimate them.

you must walk like a man who leaves no footprint, breathe like a man who does not need air, you must be the ghost who can not be seen, this is the way of the Ninja.

that kind of complacency get's you caught.

never underestimate your enemy, always overestimate them.

you must walk like a man who leaves no footprint, breathe like a man who does not need air, you must be the ghost who can not be seen, this is the way of the Ninja.

no way.. that is straight up Steve Segal!

we used to stick potatoes in the exhaust of the spud lorry years ago, as soon as they started it up the spud's would fly out at a furious rate, like a big spud gun.

it was funny then.

This was in the early days of motorised transport, mind.

that kind of complacency get's you caught.

never underestimate your enemy, always overestimate them.

you must walk like a man who leaves no footprint, breathe like a man who does not need air, you must be the ghost who can not be seen, this is the way of the Ninja.

that remind me of Layer Cake, in the first 20 minutes, he said that you should never assumed that the police is stupid.

Not bike related but may help. A couple of years ago my wife was sitting in the car outside a shop. A car parked behind pulled out and nudged the back bumper and drove off without stopping. The 'nudge' took some paint off, probably a £150 repair. Luckily my daughter got the reg. no. so I went down the local nick and reported it as a failing to stop accident.
I had to do all the form filling nonsense and left it with them. A few weeks later I got a letter saying they were not going to take any action (unsurprisingly) but the letter did contain the owners name and address plus his insurance details.
So, if you do report the accident, at the very least the drive is going to get a producer to deal with and the details you need to make a claim.

you must walk like a man who leaves no footprint, breathe like a man who does not need air, you must be the ghost who can not be seen, this is the way of the Ninja.

You describe cyclists well.

now now boys and girls, I think I might lose some of my moral high ground if I start messing with prawns, faeces, sparkplugs and spudguns... and I wouldn't want to be dragged down to the level of the kind chap who hit me

It put a smile on my face when I cycled past the spot this morning and discovered a nice big CCTV traffic camera pointing straight at the spot. Shame I'll have to wait until next tuesday to find out if if my special friend has been caught out in glorious technicolour. would be even sweeter still if the images show that shiny silver mobile phone held up to his smug bastard face... oh please oh please oh please...

In the meantime, I will be popping down to the station to insist on getting a CRIME reference number to go with my poxy traffic offence form and getting a reputable (but extremely expensive) bike mechanic to quote me for the repairs to my beloved bike.

feeling renewed enthusiasm for justice. oh yes, there will be justice.

and if there is no justice, then let there be prawns.

...and after the prawns we bring the killing, the hating and the burning. Particularly the burning.

It's been ages since we had a good killing and hating party on here.