DAO4 NXM - Cnut of the day

Quite right - Microwave your pooh first to denature the DNA.

I may have overthought this.

I don't think fecal matter itself contains DNA, the only problem will be if a bit of intestinal lining or mucous comes out with it.Just give it a good rinse first, or use someone else's.

Alternatively, don't escalate.

...and after the prawns we bring the killing, the hating and the burning. Particularly the burning.

It's been ages since we had a good killing and hating party on here.

+1

now now boys and girls, I think I might lose some of my moral high ground if I start messing with prawns, faeces, sparkplugs and spudguns... and I wouldn't want to be dragged down to the level of the kind chap who hit me

You are a wise man.

Ed - don't waste your time chasing the driver, nothing good will come of it.

I've got a black ITM stem you can have though. Collect bloomsbury / hatton garden.

I've already report him to the police, also I want to find out if he's insured or not, if the latter, then the police are likely to chase him up.

Both victims who aren't matt_r_p--glad you weren't injured, and yes, as the police really only deal with personal injury collisions, these should be reported as assault/property damage, etc.

Report any personal injury collision to the police. Higher levels of reporting really help.

You are a wise man.

I commed him for that restraint, as I have to say that LFGSS in full vigilante mode always brings me out in a rash (see what I did there?).

You guys wouldn't believe the state of fear i'm in whilst driving the work truck, paranoid as fuck i'm gonna hurt one of you good people. As soon as the boss got the truck i got bigger mirrors sorted and the 'don't be a fucktard and pass on the left' stickers for the back.

Good one, Ed. Do your mirrors comply to full EU regulations? It's definitely worth the investment.

Cycling as part of driving test ftw.

A very good suggestion which has been made time and time again, and rejected just as often. :( Someday.

the police really only deal with personal injury collisions

I don't know if the use of the word 'really' was intentional but otherwise that statement's incorrect and the Police deal with any collision involving injury and / or damage.

As I mentioned above somewhere, reporting the accident will at the very least get the driver's details eventually from the Police and will entail him producing his documents to a Police Station; licence, MOT and insurance. He is obliged to report the accident to the Police with 24 hours but, unless there is real good reason to do so, prosecution for failing to do this is unlikely IME.

Link to Department for Transport webpage on subject

Does anyone know whether cyclist are legally required to do the same, ie report accidents and within 24 hours?

I don't know if the use of the word 'really' was intentional but otherwise that statement's incorrect and the Police deal with any collision involving injury and / or damage.

By 'really' I meant that in practice police will often strongly discourage police involvement in non-personal injury collisions. I've seen this time and time again. They are of course supposed to deal with any collision, at least to record it, but it simply doesn't happen. Hit-and-runs and possible associated criminal matters are obvious exceptions, but if there isn't a hit-and-run, the police will typically advise the parties involved to exchange details and sort it out between themselves, nothing more. I've even seen this course of action adopted by motorists without any prompting from the police, and indeed without calling them. This is a completely unsatisfactory state of affairs. We need more traffic police and more traffic enforcement.

Having read some of your other posts I guessed the 'really' was an intentional application. All my more major motoring (luckily non injury) accidents have been sorted without police attendance by the exchange of details at the side of the road with the exception of the one above which was the one with the least amount of damage.
I have called the Police out to a number of accidents, particularly the 3 that involved cars burying themselves in my front garden.......

Right! My blood is boiling reading some of this.

It time to start reporting these drivers as carrying guns. Then and ONLY then will the po**lice **take it seriously.

please stay safe.

Right! My blood is boiling reading some of this.

It time to start reporting these drivers as carrying guns. Then and ONLY then will the policetake it seriously.

please stay safe.

1:20 to 2:00 shows SO19 'hard-stopping' a vehicle because someone reported the occupants had a gun "shaped like a mobile phone"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uURm43HafHM

1:20 to 2:00 shows SO19 'hard-stopping' a vehicle because someone reported the occupants had a gun "shaped like a mobile phone"!

They were probably lucky they didn't have a gun shaped like a table leg. :(

Good one, Ed. Do your mirrors comply to full EU regulations? It's definitely worth the investment.

I must admit i'm not sure about the EU regs. Will look up now
As far as i'm aware these apply to trucks 7.5t and over. I drive a 3.5t mitsi canter(transit van sized but lorry style) and as such only has to fulfill the same criteria as cars. That said the truck is only 18months old and the mirrors are from the '09 model(approx 30% bigger i reckon) so couldn't say for sure, but in theory it has much better visability than 90% of vans in london.
I still want to get a blindspot peep mirror above the standard one on the passenger side, a downward pointing one for the front (pretty sure thats one of the new eu ones, only seen on artics so far) as well as some way of seeing into the gap between truck and trailer where any number of morons think its safe to ride(they even do it on the left, even seen a couple of fakenger types in there). One slip up/change of speed when someones in there = death so fuck knows why they do it.
I don't like having to drive in london, but it's part of my job at the moment and at least i give a shit unlike most of the guys who've driven me in their trucks. Smile and wave when you see us. Word.

'One Less Twat'

Forget about milk and prawns and go *medieval.......*get a bottle of N-Butyric Acid - it's commonly sold as a carp fishing bait ingredient. It smells fooking hideous and is perfect for retribution applications ;)

They were probably lucky they didn't have a gun shaped like a table leg. :(

Or even a table leg shaped like a table leg!

You are a wise man.

It is true, Luke is indeed a very wise (and quite nice) man.

And you are a great judge of character Vee.

But can we do a bit of burning, if we hide it from Oliver? Maybe just using a little scented tealight?

Or even a table leg shaped like a table leg!

Very good point, and what I should have written.

It is true, Luke is indeed a very wise (and quite nice) man.

And you are a great judge of character Vee.

But can we do a bit of burning, if we hide it from Oliver? Maybe just using a little scented tealight?

I like the flattery mashton :)

Last night I dreamt I was with the south london crew and we were trying to blow up a car with dynamite....

I like the flattery mashton :)

Last night I dreamt I was with the south london crew and we were trying to blow up a car with dynamite....

Annnnd as per usual, the police deemed it's simply not worth following;

Well, looks like you can't go about any personal justice now, you'd be suspect number one. Lets just hope that, if the driver has pissed anyone else off, retribution is delivered at a time when you have a water-tight alibi.

I had an almost identical letter following a minor fail to stop accident that caused about £150 damage to my car (IIRC I related it in this or a similar thread). The big difference however was that my letter gave full details of the owner and his insurance company.
When you made your report did you mention any damage for which you wanted to claim for?
Basically the letter means the police don't feel they have enough evidence to prosecute. That doesn't stop you from submitting a claim against the driver for any loss, injury, etc.

Annnnd as per usual, the police deemed it's simply not worth following;

I was told exactly the same thing by the Police. While I was in hospital with blood all over my face, my legs and a bust hand.

"You are obviously alright so we won't be pressing charges."

The incident turned you mental and you are now a Vauxhall-driver* serial killer?

They'd take an interest then.

*whatever

Today's cunt of the day is the passenger that deliberately threw something at me (a plastic bottle I think) which landed square on my forehead and with considerable force. I didn't even see it coming until it hit me as it was dark and happened very quickly. Luckily for them they took a quick back street as I would have caught them at the next set of lights and I was fuming!

I have a reg number but I also have a long memory and will 'stumble' upon this local car in the near future.

Take comfort in the fact that you know the difference between 'have' and 'of'.

It seems to be a rare and precious gift around these parts...