"Oh Shit" moments...

but all these puns mean we're not leaving mushroom for anything else to be discussed

Ha ha. You are a funghi.

It's a bit a but I find this thread reassuring. When you have those heart stopping moments and look around to see if someone, anyone witnessed them, and didn't, it's nice to be able to come and vent here instead.

This week I've experienced 3 'oh shit' moments all as a result of f**king stupid driving by shitty female drivers in SE London, all within a radius of 300 metres from each other within 24 hours. Of course each of these factors may or may not be significant but meh, whatever. I'm sick of it.

Turning in towards me at speed from across the other side of the road with no indication or intention of stopping and then honking 'AT ME' and sucking their teeth because I'm in their path and squeaking, qualifies them all as total f**ktards.

Fortunately I have been cycling in these parts for many years so have come to expect this kind of retard driving, so on each occasion, I managed to pull sharply away.

Close calls though...

jeez!

^^ Makes me angry just reading that.

I think the next time that sort of thing happens I'd like to just get off my bike, walk over to the offending stopped car, stand directly in front of it, and just beckon the driver out with, a calm, sinister "come here" hand gesture. I don't know what would happen afterwards to be honest, I'd probably politely ask their address so I could write them a stern letter.

Three over a week? Try four in 20 minutes.

1. Van driver forcing me to hop up the kerb on Wandsworth Bridge as realised he was heading for the bus lane so sped up to clear it.
   
2. Taxi hooks a left at the lights of Kings Road with no indication to pick up a passenger. Brake slam.
   
3. Driver merges into the end of the bus lane on Fulham Palace Rd into me, not fast enough to do anything but enough I bang on the window shitting her up and her apologetic half made up face, yes doing her make up in traffic.
   
4. School girl steps in to middle of Kings Street while playing with ipod and stops dead when she decides to look to see if anything is coming.
   
   

I tend to say oh shit when I get work amazed I've survived. This is just West London I bet this is minor to lot who ride in Central.

I just don't go quick through central London anymore. Not through the want of trying, but the fact that I ease off whenever I see a potential Oh Shit Moment means I'm in permanent eased off mode.

^^ Jeez, that's a lot of 'oh :(

^ I also go slower these days - would rather go a bit slower every day than not be able to go at all one day.

I do ride faster when I'm geared or at least I think I do

This week I've experienced 3 'oh shit' moments all as a result of f**king stupid driving by shitty female drivers in SE London, all within a radius of 300 metres from each other within 24 hours. Of course each of these factors may or may not be significant but meh, whatever. I'm sick of it.

Thought - do female drivers treat female cyclists better or worse than male cyclists? Might some obese shitwrench women drivers feel jealous of healthy female cyclist and deliberately be inconsiderate? Or do even some female drivers assume the sexist bollocks that all female cyclists are just tootling along at 5mph and do stupid maneuvers based on their misjudgement of speed?

Shaftesbury Avenue today, turning right at a busy crossroads, I felt the rear wheel slip and had just enough time to think, "this is going to hurt", before... it gripped again and I carried on riding. As you were.

Had this again elsewhere today, turning on the same side. Had a look at the tire and there was nothing on it, and the pressure was good. Is it just because it's more slippy than usual because of all the rain, or is one side of my rear tire haunted?

^I think based on the available facts the most likely explanation is that a ghost did it, yes.

I had my rear wheel slip in the wet as I took off hard from trackstanding/posing while waiting to turn right across traffic. There was a horrible moment of weightlessness during which I imagined my head being crushed under the wheels of the car that had let me out, then I pulled the bike back up with my stomach muscles? My abs were sore for most of the day after...

Also I used to ride slower around central London but it didn't seem to make much difference so now I ride really fast in primary and imagine I'm a car so hard that pedestrians will start to believe it and not walk in front of me.

Thought - do female drivers treat female cyclists better or worse than male cyclists? Might some obese shitwrench women drivers feel jealous of healthy female cyclist and deliberately be inconsiderate? Or do even some female drivers assume the sexist bollocks that all female cyclists are just tootling along at 5mph and do stupid maneuvers based on their misjudgement of speed?

I don't think it's possible to generalise but I doubt jealousy has anything to do with it (but maybe I am oblivious to it).

Inability to judge speed and distance is more the issue, at least in these instances. That, and a great deal of stupidity.

Also I used to ride slower around central London but it didn't seem to make much difference so now I ride really fast in primary and imagine I'm a car so hard that pedestrians will start to believe it and not walk in front of me.

This, ever since I started thinking like a car, staying in the lane like one I have been in far less hairy situations

Did an impromptu endo today. Still have a smashed up face from the last crash, 2 and a bit weeks ago.

Not so much an "oh shit!" moment as a "not the face not the face not the faaaaaace!" moment.

Saved it. Crisis averted.

Try and use THESE you won't ever have a problem doing and endo*.

*as you won't stop until you crash.

Actually I barely touched my brakes. I had to avoid some nobber on a huge MTB heading straight for me who I didn't see until it was rather late. Dodged him at some speed and ran into a tarmac repair that was more like a fucking miniature wall. Bike stopped, I didn't.

Wheel ok?

Yeah. Aerospoke so burly as hell. No regrets buying that overpriced thing now! ;)

There's a nice little shortcut home from work that takes me off Buckingham Palace Road, misses out a nasty junction and spits me out at the bridge. It's a small, private, single-lane, kinked road that runs through a new housing development.

I came through a left turn way too fast, started to lost the back end on the shiny wet Tarmac, managed to get the bars turned right and my weight over, but then high-sided. Somehow I got back upright, but then realised I was heading for the other side of the road and straight at a kerb. I steered the front wheel away from a buckling - but then I was upside down in a hedge.

All very dramatic but luckily it was a really soft landing. No damage to me or bike. Could have been loads worse. Spent the next mile giggling at how lucky I was.

Looked down at the front wheel halfway home last night. Realise I was missing a wheel nut. I keep them nice and tight so no idea how it could have come off unless some one was trying to knick the wheel...

There's a nice little shortcut home from work that takes me off Buckingham Palace Road, misses out a nasty junction and spits me out at the bridge. It's a small, private, single-lane, kinked road that runs through a new housing development.

I came through a left turn way too fast, started to lost the back end on the shiny wet Tarmac, managed to get the bars turned right and my weight over, but then high-sided. Somehow I got back upright, but then realised I was heading for the other side of the road and straight at a kerb. I steered the front wheel away from a buckling - but then I was upside down in a hedge.

All very dramatic but luckily it was a really soft landing. No damage to me or bike. Could have been loads worse. Spent the next mile giggling at how lucky I was.

You are Pierre Rolland and I claim my five pounds.

Merde

Left for some Richmond Park laps but within 200 yards of my flat a van hit me from behind - not directly, a sort of forceful graze. He stopped, I took his details, and set off again. Just up the road were two police officers, so I flagged them down and pointed out the van. They pulled it and checked his insurance etc, all clear. The driver was admitting guilt so I should have got the police to sign something but completely didn't think of it until much later. So basically I can report the incident on the usual form and nothing will happen. At least it scared the driver I think, so maybe he'll be more careful for a while.

Did one lap of Richmond and was soaking wet/shaken up still, so set off home. Stopped at a red light and some really, really old man prodded my back wheel with a £40k+ Lexus.

I despair.