"Oh Shit" moments...

This morning, not really sure what happened but I think my loose, rusty headset had something to do with it. Was accelerating over a speed bump and the front wheel just twisted about 60° to the left and then immediately corrected itself. I'm convinced the bike nearly flipped diagonally over the front wheel.

That, together with my "OH SHIT" probably gave the couple I was overtaking (rather too closely) a bit of a start..

Left for some Richmond Park laps but within 200 yards of my flat a van hit me from behind - not directly, a sort of forceful graze. He stopped, I took his details, and set off again. Just up the road were two police officers, so I flagged them down and pointed out the van. They pulled it and checked his insurance etc, all clear. The driver was admitting guilt so I should have got the police to sign something but completely didn't think of it until much later. So basically I can report the incident on the usual form and nothing will happen. At least it scared the driver I think, so maybe he'll be more careful for a while.

Did one lap of Richmond and was soaking wet/shaken up still, so set off home. Stopped at a red light and some really, really old man prodded my back wheel with a £40k+ Lexus.

I despair.

Do you wear an invisible suit or something?

Do you wear an invisible suit or something?

No idea. There's a junction with a left lane and right lane that peel off each way down the road it meets. In the middle of the two is a cycle lane with no ASL. So I'd pulled alongside and gone off and was well ahead of him. Another 100ft up the road he catches up to me, then hits me. When he'd stopped he says he was "confused" about the cycle lane. I have no idea what that means.

Oh and the Lexus driver just rolled by accident. I was right there in front of him. He just did a big shrug and smiled...

Well, at least you're alright. That shrug and smile thing is possibly one of the most infuriating thing a driver can do, IMHO.

^ Absolutely. While it's better than nothing some drivers think a "sorry mate" exonerates them from all blame. Had a scooter rider get genuinely offended when I pressed him for a fuller explanation of how he managed to roll into the back of me while I was sat at a light that had been red for a good couple of minutes. "What? I said sorry didn't I." Twat.

Cruising along a side road near Whitechapel this morning and a lady pulled out from a road on the right straight across my path without a single glance in my direction. I bellowed a big "oi" to get her attention... no response, still coming, me hard on the brakes... right up nice and snug to her passenger window still in clips, leaning on her car to stay upright in a side on skid, still bellowing very angrily indeed with some naughty and unmentionable language. She finally clocked me, shat herself, waved at me which led to my adrenaline unleashing a bit more annoyance. I rode off slowly, shaking, she pulled over behind me and had a big cry!

I have to admit I felt bad that she was so upset and wanted to go back to explain that without a horn all I have is my indignation to alert her to nearly hospitalising me, but I figured she'd think I was coming to have another go at her, so I just made a puffy cheeked "you nearly took me out" type face at her and went to work. Man I was shaking though.

Non life threatening one this. Went to pick up my old MTB from sussex earlier, was riding back to the station and took a detour down an innocuous bridleway to make sure everything still worked. The track quickly narrowed and headed downhill and with all the recent rain was incredibly slippery. At the bottom it met a field and flattened out, straight through a foot deep quagmire of mud and cowshit. I was going too fast to stop and had to plough through and keep momentum to avoid going in over my head. turned a corner and the sea of shit continued, I was pedalling desperately to stay upright as the thick mud sucked at my wheels. Finally made it onto harder ground, my bike and legs thickly coated in mud. Then Had to sit on the train for an hour, but it could have been worse.

I also once went over the top of a van.

That sounds like a right laugh*

*not the van part...

Van was ages ago, pulled across me and I hit at about 20mph, somersaulted over the windshield and luckily landed on my back on a rucksack full of clothes, I was fine. The '96 Columbus EL Basso Astra landed on it's rear end, bent the stays in half and cracked the bridge. It still upsets me 5 years on.

Had a scooter rider get genuinely offended when I pressed him for a fuller explanation of how he managed to roll into the back of me while I was sat at a light that had been red for a good couple of minutes. "What? I said sorry didn't I." Twat.

He just didn't expect to meet anyone in the middle of nowhere.

Filtering between two lanes of stationery traffic with a red light up ahead, cycled in front of a dude in a mini who was stopped sideways across the inside lane in a "Keep Clear" box (they don't have box junctions here as far as I know).

He rolls forward into me as I pass, I stop dead and fall off still clipped in (absolutely minimal speed so no injury or damage to me, my bike, or his car), he jumps out with a "What have you done to my car!?"

We catch up away from the junction, he demands to exchange details as I've 'scratched his car', while in fact the outside of my shoe has wiped dirt from his bumper.

Anyway, details exchanged, and now I wait to see if the driver will try to pursue anything. I went to the police station afterwards and they advised that I've complied with every legal obligation, and luckily the cop I spoke to was a sympathetic cyclist who calmed my nerves a bit.

Bit bummed out, but should be happy considering it could have been worse. This morning I did zero filtering and it tripled my journey time :|

Meh.

First bike ride in about 3 years...strange bike, strange country road....on coming car in downhill moment, locked rear wheel, sideways skid. Pull up at side of the road...just before I faceplant into the car, yeah, I mean't that to happen...gulp!

Had one on my ride to university today.

Narrowly, and by blind luck, avoided being smashed in the middle of a head-on collision. Fucking SCARY.

^ Excellent Oh Shit depiction.

I experienced a similar moment before and it was also, as you put it, fucking scary.

What a journey home, riding home into a head wind! Then to piss me the right off, was riding along East India Dock Road and this fucking moped was saying get off my road and i was in his way, i said 'what the fuck'? then the fucking cunt slow down and then try to push me over whilst was riding, then that fat loser rode off with me chasing him! I was about to catch him until he turned off towards the A13, if not i would fucking dragged his fat arse off his bike and kicked his arse! What a fucking cowardly cunt! I briefly remember his plat starting with NG06 and it was red and he was wearing a orange hi-vis jacket and oh yeah and was proper FAT!!!! ARUGH!!! i swear i don't really give two shits when people horn or shout at me, but when they start getting physical then that is just crossing the fucking line!

And breathe...

^ Excellent Oh Shit monologue.

I need to breathe, nearly died from that fat idiot pushing me over and then chasing that guy down!

I need to breathe, nearly died from that fat idiot pushing me over and then chasing that guy down!

I had something similar a while back, it was also a fat kid on a moped (maybe there is a correlation with fat people and mopeds?). Didn't push me but kept beeping and shouted at me that I was in the way whilst riding into the wind, after this the road swung round giving me a nice tail wind and I over took him. He wasn't pleased with this. Glad your ok, shame you didn't get the full plate. That could have been pretty serious.

Nearly got T-boned by a car full of 'Yankee' dickheads (imagine the Japanese equivalent of chavs) about an hour ago. Riding home in the dark, pulled away from a stop light on a T-junction as it went green and they ran it at full speed on their red.

I ended up braking sharply, tipping on my side because I couldn't unclip fast enough. Scraped my elbow and knee and twisted my wrist out although I think it's ok now, just a little sore.

I picked myself up as they slowed down to see what they'd done and unleashed a fine torrent of abuse the likes of which Japan has probably not seen since the war. Of course they drove off quickly, leaving me to pick myself and my bike up and get off the busy road.

WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKHEADS.

And calm...

You do get yourself in some scrapes. I always thought Kyoto was a nice, calm city. Certainly more laid back than Osaka and Tokyo.

I've heard from a few people that Kyoto has the worst drivers in Japan. Going on what I've seen lately, I can't believe anywhere here has WORSE drivers...

Honestly, this past month has been total shite for riding. Maybe the heat is making people crazy. I might give it a rest until autumn rolls around!

Had one on my ride to university today.

Narrowly, and by blind luck, avoided being smashed in the middle of a head-on collision. Fucking SCARY.

I have this exact near fail every day I commute home from work, as its slow uphill (10% about) with narrow streets, lots of junctions and people always go past up the hill in at least 4th gear, then immediately pull in on me as they realise oncoming traffic is already upon them. Can never catch them.

Other ones I like do the same thing, but then pull almost hard into the curb and stop to turn right but are pinned in by oncoming traffic, so then I have to stop etc, its like, well done, what did that achieve.

Had so many close encounters now, I've stopped reacting to most of them, I just survive and get on with the task in hand. But when in town and I have a close encounter of the dumb driver kind, I often take the chance to personally congratulate them.

To avoid fisticuffs, pull up alongside in a calm manner, outreach arm making for a hand shake or pat on the back, or if you can't do that, just a big thumbs up, make eye contact, then say 'congratulations', 'outstanding', 'you possess good driving skills', and then carry on.
the key is to not sound uppety or contracending, but genuine. This way they will be so confused their brains will implode and they will instantly dissapear from the road as if they never existed.

This way they will be so confused their brains will implode and they will instantly dissapear from the road as if they never existed.

I bloody wish!