Why Are Aussies So Hated?

He provided the "small amount of cheese" in Kraft Singles.

Bleaurgh.

It contains a small amount of cheese.... mainly swept off the cutting room floor.

NB: I did not work for Kraft specifically, before Im accused of libel

were you more of a freelance cheese-slinger?

cheesewright for hire?

Well it doesnt fall out of the cow in slices, does it?

The 30kg blocks come from the factory and are sliced by a hydraulic ram pushing them through a wire grid, first horizontally, then vertically. The configuration of the wire dictates the shape and size of the blocks packed for retail.

For proper cheese slices, a long block is fed through a device akin to a butchers slicer witha big rotating blade.

My job involved:

• cut plastic wrap from block
  
• push block into cutter
  
• pull left lever
  
• pull right lever
  
  

Repeat.

Fucking shit job. Cooking the singles was worse though. I recall a 40 degree day and the cook room was ~60 degrees. Not entirely sure that was legal... we did get icy poles though, which was good.

Hang on- you cooked cheese?

Cooked, cut, packaged, ate.

You have lived such a full and rich life.

Why would one cook cheese- is this part of the process that I was unaware of?

Cooked as in cooked actual cheese, or cooked as in part of the process of making cheese?

You have lived such a full and rich life.

Its not been all fast cars and loose women.

Why would one cook cheese- is this part of the process that I was unaware of?
Cooked as in cooked actual cheese, or cooked as in part of the process of making cheese?

I may have taken a bit of licence when I said I 'cooked' cheese. Actually what I did was 'stir' cheese in big vats.

Offcut cheese + floor sweepings + mouldy cheese + big bottles of non-descript chemicals + heat = processed cheese.

Fast cars, loose women and cheese.

I'm waiting for the inevitable tell all unauthorised biography

Balki Bartokomous was a young shepherd with a gentle heart from the Island of Mypos, located in the Aegean Sea. Balki's life-long dream was to move to the USA. In 1986, after consulting with his cousin Philo, who knew the family history, he found that he had distant relatives in the USA that he could go to. Balki bid his family goodbye and crossed the Atlantic Ocean to the USA on a tramp steamer. He then took the bus to Madison, WI where he met a man by the name of George Appleton and told him his story. George Appleton sent Balki south to Chicago to move in with his eldest son, Larry.

As it turned out, Larry never heard from his father that Balki was coming and wasn't too keen on having a room mate. However, he took pitty on Balki when he saw how lost and alone the young Mypiot was. The next day, Larry left Balki in charge of the store he worked at, Ritz Discount when he had to go help a neighbor. Balki's naivete and good nature played right into the hands of customers, eager to get a discount. He sold hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for only $65.

When Larry's boss, Mr. Twinkacetti saw what Balki had done, he said that Balki would have to pay him back by fixing an old beat up radio. Balki "fixed" the radio by hooking it up to an amplifier. When Twinkie found that out, he was very angry and fired Larry for letting Balki run the store. Balki was angry that Twinkie was taking his anger at him out on Larry. Balki demanded that Twinkacetti rehire Larry.

Twinkie thought things over and rehired both of them so he could take $10 a week out of their checks for all the stuff they lost. Welcome to America, Balki Bartokomous!

http://www.imdb.com/character/ch0033783/bio

Hippy.. .thats hilarious. Fucking pitiful program.

http://www.ilovecheese.co.uk/HowCheeseIsMade.html

No cooking there.

Why for did you cook the cheese?

Fucking hell... to melt it down and combine it with big bottles of some stuff that smelt funny... I dont fucking know, I just did what the 400 pound samoan told me to.

Apparently, this is how you make processed cheese.

Aroogah... where do I purchase that fancy cheese?

There is a fantastic cheese shop on Highbury Barn, not cheap but well worth a visit- if it is still there, been a while.

The fancy cheese shop. Once it is back in season. Yeah. It's so posh, it has seasons.

http://www.vacherin-montdor.ch/en/recette.htm

@Dammit:

http://everything2.com/title/processed+cheese
Processed cheese is staple food product with excellent keeping qualities and a smooth creamy texture. It's also known as process cheese, pasteurized process cheese, cheese food, and various permutations thereof.

Processed cheese is made of a blend of natural cheeses chopped up into tiny bits; the particular mixture of natural cheeses will determine the flavour of the end product. Water is then added to the mixture, sometimes along with milk solids and other flavourings like ham or onion. Then emulsifying salts (such as phosphates or sulphates) are added; these ensure that the fats in cheese will not separate when the product is heated, as happens with natural cheese. Then the mixture is pasteurized, killing any living organisms which would cause the cheese to mature or further develop in flavour. Finally, the whole mess is melted and mixed together to make a homogeneous emulsion which can be extruded into sheets (American cheese), poured into block molds (velveeta), or, with extra water added, packed into jars as a sauce (Cheez Whiz).

Dessert cheese??? Fuck yeah!

I once 'cooked' cheese when I was a little nipper. Take kraft single and stick to oil radiator face - wait for it to bubble and start its slow journey south. Mum wasn't happy. It never came off and it had a funny smell to it.

There is a very good cheese shop in Hartington, Derbyshire. Good pub too.

WeSome guys I knew had a game where they used to buy a couple of packets of Kraft singles each and, when travelling in convoy, see who could fling slices of placky cheese at the opposing teams car, making them stick to the windows/paint.

There were some civilian casualties.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a7sCkGFD6A"]YouTube
- Alice in Chains Dam That River[/ame]

Everyone stop work and listen to this.

Or read this - my friend sent it through to me.

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/10/10/91575_ntnews.html

We are a pretty classy stock we are.

I once 'cooked' cheese when I was a little nipper. Take kraft single and stick to oil radiator face - wait for it to bubble and start its slow journey south. Mum wasn't happy. It never came off and it had a funny smell to it.

There is a very good cheese shop in Hartington, Derbyshire. Good pub too.

Racist....

I dont think they have that word over here. Quoted for posterity.

Or read this - my friend sent it through to me.

http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/10/10/91575_ntnews.html

We are a pretty classy stock we are.

Jesus

I clicked on that and WebMarshall blocked it for offensive content, and reported me to IT.

Meh.