In the news

I'd be well up for having a go on one of those things if that's how they plan on getting humans there.

that deceleration!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19149212

http://news.sky.com/story/969426/morrissey-olympic-spirit-like-nazi-germany

^ he is a bit of a twat but I kinda agree - smoke and mirrors, I keep thinking what the fuck are they up to whilst we're all getting a little bit 'Britainish'

Bread and circuses.

yup

What British English people like to revel in is a 'sense of britishness' , as if it's so complex and elusive.

Most other nationalities phrase any pride in their nationality in terms of real things, like food, sport or whatever. If you ask an English person what they've got going for them they'll initially feign any interest, then if you probe a little they'll develop a fond nostalgic look on their face and explain what it means to drink tea, and use words like quitisentially. Then if you dismiss that and probe a little further they will all eventually start singing two world wars and one world cup and talking about the sun never setting on the empire as dozens of royal wedding spoons start cascading out the inside pockets of their anorak.

Papua New Guinea's seabed to be mined for gold and copper; Government approves world's first commercial deep-sea mining project despite vehement objections over threat to marine life

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/breaking-news/offbeat/man-guilty-of-having-sex-with-former-wifes-bull-mastiff-16178617.html

You find some nuggets lad, ffs

The Judge said:

"The jury have found you guilty. It is an unusual offence and unusual behaviour. I want to know more about you and the offence so I am going to adjourn this matter for pre-sentence reports until July 27."

I love this bit:

Saunders, who separated from Ms Thacker 13 years ago, denied the charge and claimed his ex-wife had seen him merely "climbing over the dog" to get out of bed to use the toilet

Kin hilarious though, guys desperate.

I wonder if there was any foreplay? Or 'Pawplay'?

With a knick-knack, paddywhack...

Give a dog a bone(ing)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2182606/On-cloud-WWII-pilot-takes-skies-time-65-years-perform-victory-roll-legendary-Spitfire-plane.html

Daily Fail, but its my uncles dad- a lovely bloke.

via that link, just discovered that the director who nicked R-Patz's sour-faced missus is married to Liberty Ross!

If I was R-patz i'd be asking for swapsies with no returns.

Reports of abuse at this 'care home' for people with learning difficulties made me feel sick today: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-19162516
As is the case all too often "lots of people knew or had suspicions but no one took the initiative or had the guts to blow the whistle". Disgusting.

Pay peanuts and you get monkeys.

These "employees" were brought in by a company in the private sector who wanted to maximise their profit margins by employing people who have no business being involved in this.

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/breaking-news/offbeat/man-guilty-of-having-sex-with-former-wifes-bull-mastiff-16178617.html

this should have been the 'and finally' story on News at Ten

About 3 years ago a MEGA SUPER sized nhs mental health hospital (the kind which has people who are sectioned too) opened up near where I live.

They were so desperate for employee's that they were standing around in the park or street asking any random people if they wanted a Job as Mental Health Nurse/workers. No qualifications or experience necessary.

Anything happened? Suddenly hearing a fuck load of sirens around Clapton (even more than usual) and just saw two chinooks flying low towards stratford flanked by a couple of police copters.

Elton John's arriving.

They are flying in Shanaze Reade's carbon kevlar magic BMX