In the news

What British English people like to revel in is a 'sense of britishness' , as if it's so complex and elusive.

Most other nationalities phrase any pride in their nationality in terms of real things, like food, sport or whatever. If you ask an English person what they've got going for them they'll initially feign any interest, then if you probe a little they'll develop a fond nostalgic look on their face and explain what it means to drink tea, and use words like quitisentially. Then if you dismiss that and probe a little further they will all eventually start singing two world wars and one world cup and talking about the sun never setting on the empire as dozens of royal wedding spoons start cascading out the inside pockets of their anorak.

What a fountain of disingenuous cat vomit!

Speaking of which, there's a dollop of cat-yack on my parents' drive. I realise this is not newsworthy.

Elton John's arriving.

Can't be, no mention of the skycranes to transport his many hats and bouquets of flowers.

Anything happened? Suddenly hearing a fuck load of sirens around Clapton (even more than usual) and just saw two chinooks flying low towards stratford flanked by a couple of police copters.

Fire according to twitter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_Ki3JCQL-A

a year on for Simon Richardson, he would have been at the paralympics instead of in court:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-19178359

The good news is that he will at least receive a severe fine of at least £100, and a lengthy driving ban of anything from 3 - 6 months.

.

Jane Rowley, prosecuting, told the court that Mr Adams should not have been driving because he was over the legal drink-drive limit and has poor eyesight.

A jury was told that even with his driving glasses on he could not read a number plate from 4m (about 13ft) away and could only partially read one from 2m (6.5ft).

really? i highly doubt it.

They were so desperate for employee's that they were standing around in the park or street asking any random people if they wanted a Job as Mental Health Nurse/workers. No qualifications or experience necessary.

I used to be a support worker for people with learning disabilities and had no relevant qualification before I started. We didn't do things like the cunts above.

So a body's been found in that Tia's gran's house, and they're looking for the grandmother's partner, the entirely honourable looking Stuart Hazel.

If everything's as it seems, HOW does a former crack dealer and a not-exactly-the-shiniest-spoon-in-the-drawer ratbag manage to hide a body in a small council house so well it's undiscovered during TWO Police searches?

http://news.discovery.com/tech/brain-dish-flies-plane-041022.html

wat

Oct 2004. Imagine what they're up to now...

STOP PRESS: MAN INVENTS WHEEL

olcl

didnt even notice the date. That is scary.

Blimey - Russell Brand is being given a roasting on Newsnight by Peter Hitchens.

Spit-roast with Paxman?

Paxman wouldn't let this bizarre slanging match occur. I actually feel a bit sorry for Brand.

They were still shouting at each other when the item was finished and the program moved on to 'Women in Sport'.

No way?! That presenter didn't do a very good job of reining them in.

Brand told her she'd done a good job and that he liked her 'better than that Pac-man' (giggle snrrrrrffff hyuk hyuk).

What a talent, what a treasure he is.

Who, Brand or Pac-man?

At least he was trying to diffuse the situation with a bit of humour. Hitchins came off looking like a proper prat I think.

What's more shocking though (as Olympic gold medal winning rower Anna Watkins confirmed) is that male members of Team GB have received BMWs - and the women didn't!

My tongue is bleeding I just bit it so hard