Worst (hilarious) injuries

Nope - Playing with my best mate and it got a little competitive. We both went to "SNAP" at the same time and he managed to bend my middle finger in the complete opposite direction it was supposed to go.

It actually bent over backwards, dislocated itself and made a loud cracking noise, followed by a lot of swearing. Then it swelled up to three times its size and has never been the same.

Everyone - let your kids play in the road, it's much safer.

i feel a bit sick now, i'm going to stop reading this thread.

Broke some metacarpals punching a cat

This one wants a piece of you now.

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^ Bandwidth exceeded - photobucket :-(

^ Bandwidth exceeded - photobucket :-(

Howzatt?

Like most children I wanted a BMX, this however did not square with my parents budget.
Being loving parents my grandfather was despatched with a brief to construct something that could, in a bad light whilst squinting, be considered to be one.

Thus it came to pass that on my birthday I was presented with a Raleigh Grifter that had been painted blue, had glittery "BMX" stickers applied, and came complete with top tube and handlebar protectors (in a fetching black and yellow check pattern).

The only difference between this mean machine and a BMX was a) it's orbit affecting weight b) it's looks, and c) the way that it rode.
That I was not allowed to ride it over "weak" bridges made up for the lack of style only slightly.

Those of you on the forum who shared in the joy that a Grifter brings may remember two things- both of which led to my "off".
1) It could get up to quite a speed if you tried for long enough.
2) The rear brake cable was fully sheathed, and was attached to the frame not with braze ons, but with a small metal clip.

Scene: happy child sprinting along the road on his trusty 4,526,921lb steed, out of the saddle and going for it.
The already loose clip that restrained the brake cable pings off.
With the wind of freedom rushing past the brake cable swings free.
The pedal hits the brake cable.
Previously unimaginable retardation occurs, a 30 foot skid follows.
Sadly only about the first fifteen feet were on the bike- my right leg was pretty much flayed.

I spent rather a long time in casualty and ended up having my leg mummified, with the instruction that I would have to go to the school Secretary every lunch time so that she could undress my leg, then use long tweezers to pull the bits of gravel that had risen to the surface out of my leg.

Imagine the shame- the horror!
I was nine and had to take my trousers off in front of Mrs Humphries every day for week after week...

This story came back to me when I bought my Klein- the rear brake cable run was internal. And it was blue.

worse

http://www.ogrishforum.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=361330&d=1215240747
I can't see it. What's the picture?

Those of you on the forum who shared in the joy that a Grifter brings may remember two things- both of which led to my "off".
1) It could get up to quite a speed if you tried for long enough.

The Grifter, if nothing else, could preserve momentum remarkably well.

I found the best way to jump over three of my mates was to get a good 60m downhill run-up and exert more energy than an olympic powerlifter. That no one died was miraculous.

This has highly entertained me on an otherwise tedious day, thanks dirkbang

You muggin me off pussy?

object, i've done that ring thing to my little finger, caught ring on door latch on frame whilst jumping down 5 steps, hence, ring de-gloved finger partially, it fucking hurt, and i felt sick when i saw what i'd done!

PS -1 for reminding me about that injury

This has highly entertained me on an otherwise tedious day, thanks dirkbang

He he - no worries!

Myself and a couple of work mates just escaped down to the park with a Frisbee while the boss was out. Made my day a bit more bearable.

did you play dead-arm frisbee?

It's the best game, throw frisbee as hard as you can at each other, whoever's dropped 3 times get a dead arm from last person to throw it, and it has to be the throwing arm!

That sounds interesting.

The only problem I could see would that you could be on the receiving end of a crappy throw and not be able to catch it.

I'm stupidly excited about the "professional" heavy frisbee I'm getting through the post. It's like I'm 6 again, only with a slightly better income.

I was best man at my mates wedding in Majorca. The night before the wedding, after 1 or 2 beers, I went out to admire the lovely evening. Tripped over a small unlit ledge & fell down a 10 foot stone wall onto some steps.

Came around some time(?) later. Got up and found my way back into the hotel, feeling a bit of blood on my face, so went to find the gents to clean up. Apparently as I walked through the lobby the receptionist fainted. I hadn't quite realised the extent of the injuries.

Friends arrived shortly, held down loose flaps of head, called ambulance etc. Ended up with 62 stitches, 12 staples and an mri.

Checked myself out, fully doped up on codeine, and managed to make it back just in time for the wedding wit hmy head in a bloodstained turban.

Nice scars now.

I cut myself once, shaving.

I've only got two scars from cycling;

1 on my forehead, riding geared, chain slipped out of the saddle, foot went down, I went over the bars, landed on my face.

1 on my elbow, hurtling downhill on the left of slow traffic, car turned completely legally in front of me, I slammed on the brakes and somersaulted into the side of the car.

Most of my injuries come from 15 years of rugby;

Broken all my fingers at least once each.
Dislocated a few fingers.
Broken both thumbs.
Broken my nose twice.
Broken my right big toe.
Broken the scaphoid and first metacarpal on my left hand.
Mashed up my ankle.
Have now got rough rotator cups in both shoulders.
Chipped 5 or 6 teeth.
Torn my right bicep.
Last but not least, I dislocated my left kneecap (a la Chris Crash) after it "accidentally" collided with another players head, he got away with concussion, lucky boy.

Picture the scene;

Its the late 80's, blisteringly hot day.

A young boy (me) is high on the giddy joy that only a 2nd hand Raleigh Arena can bring. Whilst furiously trying to emulate Greg Lemond on the roads nearby his house.

Resplendent in the correct cycling apparel, cut off denim's, and no top on.

I take it upon myself to overtake a stationary bus but collide, hideously with a Lada Riva, estate no less.

It was altogether traumatic. I hit the ground so hard I lost conciousness. The old couple whom I crashed into brought me round and took me and the Arena home. My right shoulder looked like it had been attacked with and orbital sander. Gravel rash is a bad thing, I have a nice scar there now.

The worst thing was the district nurse I had to visit every week to change the dressings. Fucking horrific, I can only describe them as large sections of sellotape applied directly to raw, seeping wounds having them whipped off made me cry like a little girl.

You had your wounds "dressed"?
The key is in the "dress" bit.. HTFU :P
If we didn't bleed to death after a big crash we'd be back to school, seeping red gloop through our clothes, regaling fans of the bike incident..

I can't see it. What's the picture?

oh well, i've broken my leg in 2 places, broken both arms, my thumb, my big toe, my left foot and fractured my skull.
Countless stiches and im still alive.

yes, post office vans at the age of 3 aren't play things.

i fractured my skull 3 times by the time i was 4. good parents.

i fractured my skull 3 times by the time i was 4. good parents.
explains a lot :p

explains a lot :p

it's why i'm stupid enough to hang out with people like you :-]