Worst (hilarious) injuries

I have blisters on one of my fingers. The only thing I can think of (apart from playing with some WD40 and matches earlier) is when I scuffed clean the rear tyre with my hand after cleaning my bike.
I'd love it if this meant I no longer feel pain but alas I think not.

leprosy?

Nah, I cured that years ago. I think it might be finger aids.

Scrub it with wire wool and bleach, it's the only way to be sure of killing it.

First strange injury I remember - going to take a wazz in a bush on a french camp site. About 5 or 6 at the time. Anyway long story short, I must have really pissed off an african bee....
I came out of the bushes howling in pain, dead bee attatched to the end of my member. Just to make things worse my parents then took to me with a pair of tweezers.

Goid thing I was too young to bee embarressed ey...

Back when I was about 14 a mate of mine who lived on a farm was given the rather ill-conceived responsibility for controlling the local rabbit population. While his weapon of choice was a not entirely legal over-powered air rifle, he did still make use of the family shotgun(s). One day, as a present to his best friends he gave a handful of us a shotgun cartridge each. We were under strict instructions not to leave the cartridge in direct sunlight and if we did try to detonate it, remove all the shot first. Seemed sensible to me. First opportunity I had, I took a penknife to the cartridge and emptied it of shot leaving me with just the explosive and the blasting cap. Figuring I didn't really want to set off an uncontrolled explosion, I tipped the explosive into a broad pile, doused it with meths and tried to set light to it with no success. Not to be deterred, I put the blasting cap on the ground, put the point of the penknife blade on the firing point and hit it with a handy rock from the rockery.

Nothing happened. Whack, whack, whack. Still nothing.

Big fat almighty whack.

BANG.

Ringing ears.

Searing pain in palm of the hand holding the penknife.

Turn hand over, blood, and a piece of shrapnel sat right in the middle. Turns out you get a bit of backblast from the firing cap and unchecked by a firing pin the firing point had shot into my hand, giving me my first and hopefully only firearms related injury. Had a pip size scar for about fifteen years after, can still work out where it used to be.

Stupid twat.

^ That made me laugh and remember. We built rocket cars made out of Matchbox chassis and sawed of steerer tube powered by fertilizer and sugar mixture. This we set off in a large court. They blasted away erratic but speedy time after time. And then it did not, nice yellow flame turned to blue and then white and then went out. So we thought. When we tried to get it a bang that kept my ears ringing for hours. The steerer tube flew away ten yards and when we found it had been shredded to bits. Lucky escape.