Worst (hilarious) injuries

My mate had a darts board in his garage but we couldn't be bothered to move his car out of the way (I don't think that car ever moved under its own power) so we just sat on the bonnet about 3 feet away chucking the darts as hard as we could. One of them hit the metal ring and bounced straight back towards my face so I put my hand up. There's a 'thunk' and the sharp end of a dart appears through the back of my hand. Strangely it didn't hurt until the morning.

I also broke two fingers on my bike when I was a kid. My granddad put a lollipop stick between them and sellotaped them together.

I also snapped the banjo string.

Few years ago... (about 16) brand new look pedals. Came up to a mini-roundabout. Slowed to walking pace, wham... front wheel went out from under me. Still clipped into bike in pissing rain.

Release, get back on bike, can't pull brakes, no strength in wrists. Go home sleep. Get up go to pub. (darts match) cant throw darts further than tip of my foot... can't drink beer as cant bend arm to mouth (either arm) drink 6-7 pints through straw. get completely hammered,Mates from darts team don't take the piss at all... (MUCH)

Hungover at Hopsital next day, they say I am fine, damaged ligaments. Fly to Canada to go skiing. fall over can't get up. gf mad as hell.

2x broken radial heads of BOTH elbows, snapped clean off ... from the bike accident. Years of pain/locking elbows since.

ouch, when i was about 3 or 4 i had a boxxer bmx, our kid had a raleigh ultra mag burner ( the bollocks) we lived on a quiet road so he got some rope n tied it to my bars so i could go fast with him.
there we are hammering down the middle of the road, our kid spots a car tho so shouts something and goes up on the path, me shitting it from going so fast wasnt listening to him and stayed where i was, the rope hits a tree on the verge, we both stop dead, our kid plums himself on his bars while me being little goes straight over the bars and slides up the road a good distance on my cheek and forehead.
hours of scrubbing out the gravel hurt ten times worse.

then when i was about 15 or 16 i was riding a scott summit ( best bike ive owned) back from the woods, i get to a quiet bit and im just cruising along no handed when my crank arm shears, phwack face planted and slid again a good distance coming to a stop about half an inch away from a lad with a jackhammer fixing the road, that shit me up, but again the sodding scrubbing hurt well more than face surfing

I was on holiday in Noosa with my misses about 9 years ago and we rented some bicycles to cycle around. I was being a nob and cycling everywhere no handed/generally being cocky. Going down a big hill I decided to lower my saddle a little without stopping, standing no handed and using the quick release. I veered left to avoid a car and my front wheel got caught in a drain cover and i flew off and slid down the road about six foot. Had some nasty gravel rash, but the biggest casualty was my confidence, i didn't ride a bike for about a year after that.

Few years ago... (about 16) brand new look pedals. Came up to a mini-roundabout. Slowed to walking pace, wham... front wheel went out from under me. Still clipped into bike in pissing rain.

Release, get back on bike, can't pull brakes, no strength in wrists. Go home sleep. Get up go to pub. (darts match) cant throw darts further than tip of my foot... can't drink beer as cant bend arm to mouth (either arm) drink 6-7 pints through straw. get completely hammered,Mates from darts team don't take the piss at all... (MUCH)

Hungover at Hopsital next day, they say I am fine, damaged ligaments. Fly to Canada to go skiing. fall over can't get up. gf mad as hell.

2x broken radial heads of BOTH elbows, snapped clean off ... from the bike accident. Years of pain/locking elbows since.

Wow, amazing story. So your arms were both broken the whole time?

I also snapped the banjo string.

done this too, was a long time coming and was such a relief when it finally went, bled a bit, gf offered me sanitary towels but to be honest that was just too weird.

why was it 'a long time coming'?

something i've missed?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=banjo%20string

I also snapped the banjo string.

done this too.

It's not something you forget.....

I just wish I had been sober enough to remember how I did it!

old thread, but i managed to get my finders in the chainwheel and the chain... whilst riding.

My mate got shot in the cock in afghan.
I know it's awful and stuff, and he spends half his life in Headley Court, but its still funny.

thats a bit harsh

Squaddy humour.
He did manage to get shot through the cock and into his pelvis, where the bulled bounced round a couple of times and exited via his buttock, without hitting his spine, his balls or his colon.
Aside from the fact of actually getting hit, it's quite a win.

id rather get shot in the head and die than in my cock

Interesting priorities

at age 9-10 I hated bees and wasps since I was stang by one and I didn't like it.
In search of revenge I was chasing one on my bmx witch chopped off bars.
While trying to reach for one (to take it home and torture it to repay for my pain) I've managed to fell and went on the chopped off bars - bars went straight through the flesh and did get stuck in between ribs.

Still hate bees.

True story.

id rather get shot in the head and die than in my cock

Nah, cock shot every time.

There's more to life than screwing, although screwing is, admittedly, fun.

My big fear is being blinded, but even that terror is dulling as I get older.

at age 9-10 I hated bees and wasps since I was bitten by one and I didn't like it.
In search of revenge I was chasing one on my bmx witch chopped off bars.
While trying to reach for one (to take it home and torture it to repay for my pain) I've managed to fell and went on the chopped off bars - bars went straight through the flesh and did get stuck in between ribs.

Still hate bees.

True story.

Bees and wasps sting. They can actually bite, but that doesn't happen hardly at all.

A handlebar going through the ribs sounds fucking horrible though.

If this happened recently, hope you're ok.

Age 9-10.. They're gettin' younger..

The question is, is his member in working order again?

Apparently so, although I have no direct knowledge of this.

Age 9-10.. They're gettin' younger..

stang - the correct terminology is getting stang off a wasp

let me fix that.

fucking foreigners...

stang - the correct terminology is getting stang off a wasp

haha. you mean yellowjacket?