Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

shit, just came here to post that monstrosity too

it's so bad, I really want to have a spin on it to find out how badly it would handle.

It looks like a whippet taking a crap.

Perfect description! Repped
:'D

The steerer would snap, the seatpost fallout/snap and chain come off all within about 5mins

And and epically slack chain to boot!

EDIT: slooow

....give it to Ted to test this theory

Nice Rims people !!

It's already my favorite worst bike ever : D

Looks like the bike version of a funicular ???

I'm surprised the saddle isn't tilted back

it's so bad, I really want to have a spin on it to find out how badly it would handle.

Ed,

It is very good on flat. Only when I climb it has its twitchy steering.

^^

Twitchy? OMG, you must be joking! Looks like it'd steer like an ocean liner, not twitchy in the least!

Ed,

It is very good on flat. Only when I climb it has its twitchy steering.

That's because it's stupidly set up in *such *a way that when you're out of the seat most of your mass is directly over the front wheel. Crazy.

Twitchy? OMG, you must be joking! Looks like it'd steer like an ocean liner, not twitchy in the least!

Ocean liners are very stable. If she was like an ocean liner when I am climbing a hilly street, I will be very happy and will not bother you and other with my porn bike.

That's because it's stupidly set up in *such *a way that when you're out of the seat most of your mass is directly over the front wheel. Crazy.

I like bend tubes and some confort when riding, so in order to attain that I put a 700c wheel on front. Besides that, I like to try different things with bikes and having lots of fun with that. The TT frame is a "retired" frame, she is not used anymore in competition and the original set up is not good for riding on streets with heavy traffic. Always there are trade offs, of course I could buy a La Piovra Lo-Pro Track Frame for 700c wheels from Brick Lane, but I will not have some much fun by converting an old TT. The Telfer is made from SLX tubing and La Piovra is from Columbus Cromor. The Telfer is my second curved fixie, the other is a KHS Aero TracK with Shimano parts. The Telfer is the only bike-porn in my stable. So far it has being a lot of fun.

The Telfer is the only bike-porn in my stable.

he he he - you sure?

If you want a more relaxed lo pro for riding in traffic you'd be better off switching back to 650 forks and front wheel, fatter tyres, and risers. You'll cop a lot less shit for riding it like that. What you've got now is the retarded offspring from a hybrid and cruiser having sex while tripping on acid. Anything other than going nearer to original components will only fuck it up further and make it even more stupid to look at and shit to ride.

The Telfer is the only bike-porn in my stable.

puts head in mincer

That's because it's stupidly set up in *such *a way that when you're out of the seat most of your mass is directly over the front wheel. Crazy.

I think the "twitchy" probably comes from climbing while seated, the front wheel would be off the ground most of the time.

I think the "twitchy" probably comes from climbing while seated, the front wheel would be off the ground most of the time.

It happens when I am out of seat.

OK. This has to be too funny wind up?

it has a colnago fork.
therefore porn.
shurely?

If you want a more relaxed lo pro for riding in traffic you'd be better off switching back to 650 forks and front wheel, fatter tyres, and risers. You'll cop a lot less shit for riding it like that. What you've got now is the retarded offspring from a hybrid and cruiser having sex while tripping on acid. Anything other than going nearer to original components will only fuck it up further and make it even more stupid to look at and shit to ride.

I will test it with the new set up in order to know how its feel. Using 650c wheel will require a very high riser and it also will look awful. The good thing in a 700c wheel at front is that the BB height is very high even in comparison to a track frame. It is almost impossible cranks hit the ground.

My old dear brought me up with the attitude of 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything nice at all'. It has served me well, I usually (nearly always in fact) bite my tongue but fuck me sideways, that is a true abortion of a bike, in the worst way possible.

You posted a picture probably hoping for compliments. You will have to accept the (fully justified) overwhelming and universal criticism, quite frankly. What, in all that is holy were you thinking of, for pity's sake?

Being individual is something to be proud of (there is far too much 'me too' in some circles, especially with bikes) but there is still a 'right' way to do anything.

I mean, that simply cannot be comfortable to ride, surely?! (I'm trying to imagine what sort of stretch you have to the pedals), notwithstanding the (already mentioned) stresses that you're putting on what would've been a very nice frameset originally.

You have just ruined that bike, sorry but you have.

(I am too assuming that this is just a joke, ha ha etc!)