Jokes / Joke du jour!

Genuine lol

Nicked from another thread,

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it's too good. I did a realtime hard lol at that

moving on to a lower level of joke...

My mum bet me I couldn't make a car out of pasta.

You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

Reckon that should be

My mum bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti

That joke is part of a trifecta;

My wife told me I was wasting my time trying to build a bicycle out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I rode Pasta.

Eventually my wife left me due to my pasta obsession. She said I was perverted. I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

After I sought help I thought we could make a new start. You’d think she’d be able to forgive a fusilli mistakes...

Oh well. In for a penne in for a pound

Ok, I've had (nearly) a bottle of wine but I think independently of that I'd be wiping tears as I read those out loud

Just got back from holiday visiting my Uncle Ant in Latvia; his friends call him Rigatoni - I'll get my coat

That reminds me: I’ve been a bit stressed out lately so I think I might bucatini holiday to try and relax.

Bologna ?

Aw, shit; I'm well out of my league here :-(

Pasta puns weren’t really my thing. Orzo I thought....

Reckon that should be

..exactly, the proper way, as we did four years ago.

The material of choice in the italian automotive industry is carbonara

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear he's going to get a really tough sentence.

The missus has left me cos I'm so insecure.

Oh, here she is, she was just making tea.

From a year 4 pupil yesterday

Why did the ipad go to the dentist ?
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Because they had a Bluetooth

A scaffolder friend of mine has been really busy since their company won the big Ben contract
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Yes they've been working around the clock ....

Some corkers! Nice work.

Ha ha ha ha!

I'm posting this with a heavy heart..
As much as I love cycling, cycling gear and everything that comes with it...it is taking up too much of my time. I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics of cleaning and cooking and maintaining my home, so something has to give. I will be getting rid of my collection.
Below is a list of what's available. Serious inquiries only, and please don't insult me with low offers.

Thanks for reading and understanding...

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1. Dustpan and broom
   
2. Sponges
   
3. Toilet spray
   
4. Mop (I’ll keep the bucket)
   
5. Window cleaner
   
6. Vacuum
   
7. Dishwashing liquid
   
8. Laundry detergent
   
9. Fabric softener
   
10. Laundry baskets
    
11. Toilet brush
    
12. Cleaning sprays
    
    

from a friend on facebook

Dustpan and broom

Dibs on pan if split.

Dust on pan if swept.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in the BluRay remaster?

HDMI