Jokes / Joke du jour!

To the person who stole my trainers and hi vis jacket...

You can run but you cannot hide.

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My neighbour just told me this one over the fence

I'm having a brexit Christmas dinner this year
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I'm doing without the brussels

Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?

No sun.

I just bet a hyena £1000 that he couldn't swim across a river and now he's laughing all the way to the bank.

I miss when I was a child being brought up in the wild by a pack of hyenas.

Times were tough but we had a lot of laughs.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Reminds me of that old Eddie Izzard gag

'I was raised by Wolves..... they named me Grrrrrr'

What do Jamaican ducks say

Quah quaan

How long does it take to walk two small dogs into town?

About Chihuahuas.

I lost 25% of my roof in the recent storms.
oof.

My mate's started a band called 1023 megabytes

They haven't got a gig yet

Surely this has to be 999 megabytes?

Or am I missing something...

You're missing something.

There's 1024 MB in a GB.

Storage is measured in powers of two because they are binary values.

A brain by the looks of it. Haha.

As you were 🤦🏻‍♂️

EDIT: Although! My world is being shaken by this joke.

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There are 1024 bytes in a kibibyte (kiB)
There are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte (kB)

Computer makers often get confused but this is slowly changing.

It's the distinction betweet MiB (or Mebibyte) which is 2 to the power of 20 bytes and MB (or Megabyte) which is 10 to the power of 6 (or simply a million) bytes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mebibyte

Thank you all. A little wiser from the jokes thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GwmognW8UY

You all suck

Puns make me feel numb but math puns make me feel number.

xkcd to the rescue

Depends whether your talking about RAM or disk storage. The former has always been the binary version. Disk torage has tended to be the decimal.

Customer: Does it come in neutral colours?
Sales assistant: Not at the moment, but we have grey taupes for the future.