Jokes / Joke du jour!

The Ivo Graham joke is good. The rest are a bit weak/cracker jokes/lines written for the host of HIGNFY.

cracker jokes

Racist.

Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning.

pure gold

uh oh

A charity for people with Tourette's syndrome has asked a comedian to apologise for his award-winning joke made at the Edinburgh Fringe festival.

Of COURSE they have. Ha! Jeezo

Since you posted it on here you should also apologise, you insensitive knob. You should then look at the others and get your apologies in for those too, I recall something about Shakespeare on a horse and privileged school kids being two of the gags you shared.

Off you pop, hang your head in shame. PS, I would also like to flag how I was offended by the semaphore joke.

semaphore joke

Link please - would also like to be offended about that

After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging. – Richard Pulsford

I know Richard. He's not funny, at all. He writes puns and says them out loud. That's it.

You've got to hold your hands up and say this one really gets his point across though.

Bit of a kneejerk reaction.

Oh, so you’re making fun of my accent as well are you?!

What was it again?

Heard that jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar... demerara

from the florets comedian Olaf whatshischops at the Edinburgh fringe

you insensitive knob

Pudendal Nerve Palsy sufferers around the world demand your apology.!

That’s a condition which often affects cyclists so I’ll just stay away from any parts of the internet frequented by people who actually ride bikes.

I have Tourette's Syndrome and found the joke very funny...sad overaction.

A few years ago I went to a small festival in Suffolk and written on the disabled toilet was ' Tourette's is not a disability'.

I liked his other jokes too:

'jokes about white sugar are rare...and jokes about brown sugar, but demerara'.

'my father said if you are being chased by a group of taxidermists....don't play dead'.

I liked them...my partner thought they were childish at best.

I like it..I like puns though.

Talking of Suffolk and writing on toilets...

A few years back in the toilet on the train which goes between Sudbury and Marks Tey there was a brilliant bit of graffiti over the emergency alarm sign ..

Underneath the penalty for improper use bit someone had crossed out the £ amount and written

' death or two weeks in Felixstowe '

In a bar in Munich somebody wrote (inside a toilet stall, on the very bottom of the door, that had like a 15cm gap to the floor below)
BEWARE OF LIMBO DANCERS

In a bar in shoreditch someone tagged 'LFGSS, get a life dorks'

I win

There was a bit of graffiti in Welwyn (I grew up nearby) that used to fascinate me as a kid. It was on a footbridge going over the road and it said ‘JOHN RUMPED THE FLYING HOP’ in big white letters. I just had a google to see if I could find any info about it and I found a Honda forum with some asking about it, and someone else replying with a link... to a post from me, years ago, asking about it on a record collecting forum. So it turns out I am the internet ‘JOHN RUMPED THE FLYING HOP’ expert, in case anyone is in need of my services.

And you've just improved your algorithmic chances of staying as that internet expert

LFGSS, get a life

I will do no such thing.

I think you're overestimating LFGSS's google rankings!

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