Jokes / Joke du jour!

Solid 3-star joke there.

As ever, spectacular comedic timing...

with universal appeal

Some stellar jokes here chaps. And a nice fusion of the old and the new.

You can't rush into a space pun, you have to planet.

Shirley it's: Orion's belt. There's a giant waist in space.

I asked my vet if I should have my dogs 'done' or is it a waste of spays. 'Oh, varies' he said.

"Officer, how did the hacker escape?"

"Dunno, he just ransomware"

Nice!

I'm going to the playground with Thor.
THE Thor?
No, we'll probably just go on the swings.

Thwings

I asked a hooker how much for a quick shag. “10 quid”, she says. Blimey that’s cheap, how come? “I haven’t got a womb” she says. No womb, really? “No, we have to go across the woad and do it against the wailings”.

I've lost my memory foam cushion.

My gf says that's the worst yet

Made me lol more

Amaze.

Anyone read that book about the invincible dog??

Couldn’t put it down..

The world's largest switch factory is in Prestatyn.

That's cool, I found out recently that the biggest producer of plastic fruit in the EU is located in Nuneaton.

Everybody knows the zip code for Beverly Hills: 90210 because of the show. But do you know what the zip code for Dawson's Creek is?

90108

(for our lives to be over)

If a fucking piece of rubber can remember it's original shape why can't I, the highest form of biological, evolutionary development not remember where I put my fucking car keys?

Stolen from Twitter:

Two turbines on a wind farm.

One asks the other: “What music do you like? I really like pop music.”

The other turns to the first and goes: “I’m a massive heavy metal fan.”

'The wonderful thing about triangles,
Is triangles are wonderful things.'

Tiggernometry

love it

Paging @LongAndWinding

It’s taken me 5 days to get this!