Jokes / Joke du jour!

Ba dum-tish

Thanks!

Pedantry corner for Dad jokes, what next?

What do you call the Arsenal striker who became permanently bored and depressed do to Arsenes poor management?

Teary Ennui

I heard an ex-Arsenal player is opening a tanning salon. He's calling it the Ray Parlour.

I heard an ex arsenal player loves a drop of Caribbean liquor but it brings him out in terrible spots. I saw him the other day in the pub, he exclaimed, ‘Too-much Rum-zits-see!’

I heard an Arsenal goalie hates carrying cards or cash with him. We share the same hairdresser and she said he ‘Paid her cheque’.

The more convoluted, badly setup, stretched out and barely credible the better.

Puns I mean, not Arsenal. Although I’m a spurs fan so actually....

I asked my mate if he knew what Morrissey has for his breakfast. He didn't know, but reckons Johnny Marr might.

something something Granit Xhaka

Best dad joke I have heard lately
(Elon Musk talking about how to colonize Mars)

http://youtu.be/kzlUyrccbos?t=5m10s

(Skip to 05:10)

the mars bar thing? really?

And if you're being told off by @hatbeard for a bad joke, you have to know it's BAD

Trufax

there's probably a venn diagram to cover this

I like it. Sounds like he didn't planet.

snickers

On R4 today....

So the teacher of a class that includes an autistic kid says 'Carry on wherever I leave off...'.

Then she recites the Lord's Prayer...

Our Father
Who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom.....

After a short pause the autistic kid says, '...for a horse.'

X

I’m minded of the E B White quote on dissecting humour, but that joke makes no sense.

An autistic kid is very unlikely to pipe up in class like that for a start. If they did it would be because they knew the right words.

I just don’t really get how it’s a joke. Or how the kids autism is relevant.
I’m confused.

Watch out the PC police are out...

Its OK it was on R4
Stealth edit: it's

You're a PC police.

No your