Jokes / Joke du jour!

With all criticism; consider the source before you decide what to do with it.

A woman walks in to the bathroom to find her husband standing on the scales sucking his belly in.

"You moron, it doesn't work like that"

"Aye, but I can see the numbers this way".

lol

Coldplay to play at Manchester benefit concert.

Haven't these people suffered enough?

#toosoon?

My chiropractor couldn't see me at short notice today. He has back to back appointments.

Bacardi. A rum business.

What's the difference between ukip and a toilet?

A toilet has a seat

Ironically, Paul Nuttall invented the toilet seat.

Haha! Excellent

Haha 😁

Don't encourage me - that's already rehashed from joke I made on Facebook about his new album being top of the iTunes download charts :-/

People have been dismissive of me drinking brake fluid but I can stop any time I want

You must be seeing dots.

you're clutching at straws etc.

Can you get piston that stuff?

I see you lot are determined to pad this one out...

brake puns - disc uss

Get a grip .

Are you proud of these puns you wrote or not?

Brake jokes?

here you go: https://www.lfgss.com/conversations/299558/

Rotor ?

Stop it.

Lever t'out.

Ace

cantilever an opportunity for crap punning

people complaining about threads turning to a punfest, I say no need to weinmann