Jokes / Joke du jour!

My old man always used to say "better out then in".
Lovely man.

Terrible heart surgeon.

What's your net worth?

Said the banker to the fisherman

I just farted in a foundry.

It smelt.

David Moyes has guaranteed his players European competition this year, even if he has to write the song himself.

the cast of 12 years a slave are expected to clean up at the Oscars - what a shame that attitude still exists even today

It is exam week, I turned on 10h Epic Sax Guy, locked my room and left. My housemates will be very angry when I get back.

If Lord Rennard doesn't calm down he'll have a stroke!

Having watched Benefits street, it's not much different to Sesame Street.
Both have a big bird, a bloke living out of a bin, and people trying to learn the alphabet.

Bah, I was coming here to post that^

Someone's got a woody.

My wife has put all her dogging stuff on eBay. There's no bids but there are fifty watchers.

My wife has put all her dogging stuff on eBay. There's no bids but there are fifty watchers.

We have a winner.

Justin Bieber got caught doing 50 in his Lamborghini..

Mr Cent was unavailable for comment.

Repped + stolen ta.

A banker, a Daily Mail reader and a refugee are sat at a table, sharing 12 biscuits. The banker takes 11 and says to the Daily Mail reader, "Watch out for the refugee, he wants your biscuit!"

my names ben elton ... goodnight

*spangly suit spangly suit *

although that doesn't ring quite so true these days
where have all the honorable men gone ?

I found a lion in my wardrobe, I asked him what the hell he was doing there.

Narnia business, he replied.

whats the bare minimum?
1 bear.

Where did the rabbit go when it was ill?
The hopsital.

^^ Made me giggle more than it should have.

just got a phone call from my 14 year daughter's school...she's banged her head........

that's another school we're gonna have to pull her out of

Which animal flies highest?
Pussy of the stewardess.

just got a phone call from my 14 year daughter's school...she's banged her head........

that's another school we're gonna have to pull her out of

You've reposted your own joke

But thanks, it made me laugh both times