Jokes / Joke du jour!

^^It was funny though, even better>
[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W166Aq9cMtQ"]Jim
Jeffries - I only want coke - YouTube[/ame]

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

||sheep|| ||kangaroo|| sinθ n

Can someone explain this to me? I'm not a mathematician, but here I go:
Norm of sheep, norm of kangaroo... I know a norm defines the length of a vector... sinθ n is... er, do you get a bouncy line on a graph?

I presume the answer is not 'a woolly jumper'.

look up "vector cross product".

Ha!

Hehe, I see.

Three professors of logic walk into a bar. The barman asks if any of them would like a drink. The first professor says "I don't know", the second professor says "I don't know", and the third professor says "No".

Wait, math jokes are allowed? (sadly I understood that cross product one)

What is purple and commutes?
An Abelian group

I got home from the pub last night and my wife said, "I can't believe how intoxicated you are."

Denying it I said, "I'm not drunk."

She said, "Yes you are."

I said, "No I'm fucking not."

She said, "Can you tell the time?"

I walked up to the clock and said, "I'm not fucking drunk."

Lots of people seem unconvinced I can live on £53 a week. Shouts of 'You Can't!' wherever I go today.

A cyclist gets up for his regular morning ride. He looks out the window and the weather is terrible, cold, dark, pissing down with rain, gale force winds, hail, etc... He gets up anyway and starts getting ready. He checks the weather on his phone and there's all the warnings about how bad the weather is and how it will be getting worse. He decides to not bother and goes back to bed. He cuddles up against his wife and says "the weather is terrible out there today" to which she responds sleepily... "I know, can you believe my husband went out riding in this?"

so was the cyclist in the bed not her husband ? or what
it does state that he cuddles up against his wife
i am confused

did i miss the joke ?

i think the joke is she thought it was her lover climbing into bed as the cyclist/husband had got up and she assumed he'd gone for his ride but hadn't.

aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i see

Oh, Dicki...

i mean verbs and nouns didn't tell it quite like bernard cribbens would have, did he now ?
there was uncertainty towards then end there, a definite lack of peppyness in the middle and the opening gambit lacked weight

no offence meant by the way verbs and nouns

Are you saying verbs and nouns is not good with words?

hell no, thats my forte

all i'm saying is it could have been a bit more snap crackle and muthafucking POP

oh dicki...

youre making it worse

ok ok i'll stop

It's not funny when you have to explain it etc. Er, I thought Dicki's joke was quite good?

(dirty minds are a joy forever, according to Madonna and she may know)

i still think there wasn't enought of a gap / distance between when him and his wife
she surely would have known it was him getting back into bed
unless his phone was on the downstairs kitchen table ... but that isn't implied

if he had gone out, slamming the door, then decided against it and come back in...

my point exactly

Seems there's joke perfectionism going on.

I am an easy audience though...

Here's a joke from my schoolyard days: (substitute for appropriate country)

Do you know the sign "no overtaking" with the red and black car?
In Belgium they put a sign underneath saying it's valid for other car colours too.

#Drumroll, gets coat, thank you very much

Sorry.

I should have found the joke written properly and cut n' pasted it.