Jokes / Joke du jour!

My uncle was a mohel...
Every friday he'd get a share of the tips

I'm not sure if Wiki link has to be inserted in order for the reader to equip themselves with the info required to get the gag is really a gag worth telling. But I told it anyway. If you don't like it I suggest to contact you local MP.

Both educational and amusing.
And not the *n*th repost of a horse gag.
Good work.

il never be cool..

Cool As Fuck Thread

Oscar Pistorius is being questioned over the suspicious death his girlfriend. Police are stumped.

Oscar Pistorius has been arrested over the mistaken killing of his girlfriend. Should have gone to spacsavers.

Does that even work? I'm doing my best here..

There are some horrible bastards about. I heard a cat crying outside so I opened the door and saw four Liverpool fans were playing football with it. I was just about to phone the RSPCA when the cat went 1-0 up.

^^ with evidence like 4 gunshot wounds, he's not really going to have a leg to stand on.

Crime scene investigators were confused as to how Oscar Pistorius had shot his girlfriend when they heard he's an amputee and assumed he wasn't armed

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don't ever startle
Oscar Pistorius

(stolen)

My uncle was a mohel...
Every friday he'd get a share of the tips

And not the *n*th repost of a horse gag.
.

A cut above the normal level of Jokes du Jour
under the circumstances I thought I leave this^, well, hung here.

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don't ever startle
Oscar Pistorius

(stolen)

I'd heard he was a fan of Bullet for my Valentine

watching some of the old repeats of cheers that are re running on tv at the minute
the humour in that show is top notch

one scene at the end of a programme a few nights back went something like this ..... i'm sure i won't do it justice but here goes

banter back and forth between ted danson ( sam ) and kirstie alley ( rebecca his new boss ) had been going on a while lots of piss taking etc

sam just about to leave the room ask rebecca if he can see her smile just the once ... he goes on saying how he thinks her smile could light up a room and is a bit flirty with some other lines
he eventually manages to get her to crack and flourish a little smile
he looks at her and ..................................

nah it just doesn't work on paper and i'm not doing it justice in any case

i'll try and find a link for the you tube clip

so funny though

and ..................................

Shame Dicki you were going so well

Knowing South African Justice system the bribe to free Oscar Pistorius will cost him an arm and a leg.

Oh.. Wait..

Oscar Pistorius apparently "forgot" that his girlfriend was coming over.

He would forget his legs if they weren't screwed on.

^ That was on the camping shop on the embankment by the minellium footbridge about 5 years ago.

yes, but richard III wasn't buried nearby..
its a quote from shakespeare

.

al!

no no NO NO NO

I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourette's Society.

It's the thought that cunts.

I phoned the hospital to ask about my circumcision appointment, the nurse had me on hold for half an hour then cut me off!

How much do Rabi's charge for a circumcision?

Nothing, they just keep the tips.......

see post 2953

Heard the one about the drunk rabbi he missed and got the sack