Jokes / Joke du jour!

Neighver

Been trying to think of a hoof pun for ages.

Only Foals shop at Tesco

ftfy

What's the difference between a Tesco burger and someone with a sore throat?

Nothing.

(c)Hatbeard

It's amazing the regional pricing differences of Tesco. When I looked into the price of the burgers, they were 2.10 at Lingfield, 2.30 at Ascot and 2.45 at Kempton Park.

I mean, finding horse meat in Tesco burgers, what are the odds of that?

So are we going to be saddled with horse puns for the next few days?

you know that lethargy you get from eating too many burgers, well it turns out there's another reason why it makes you feel knackered.

A Tesco spokesperson was asked how long the burgers will remain on the shelf. "Not furlong" he replied.

Anyone thought about checking the Tiger bread at Tesco!?
Didnt they change the name to Giraffe bread at the request of a 6 yo?

That's Sainsburys. HTH. HAND.

I was going to buy some burgers at Tescos but the wife said neigh.

I knew there was something up when my burgers got stuck to my BBQ.

in a lesbian relationship who makes the sandwiches?

..neither,they both eat out.

So are we going to be saddled with horse puns for the next few days?

ha!

You could say that the Tesco burger story was yesterday’s mane headline.

Shergar bum is an anagram of hamburgers...

I had lunch at the Tesco cafe today and the waitress asked me if I wanted anything on burger, so I said a fiver each way.

gets coat

Tesco's veggie burgers are being tested for traces of Uniquorn.

anyone fancy going to horse meat disco at vauxhall? heard lance armstrong is gonna be there.

A cow walks into a bar.

Barman: "Why the long face?"
Cow: "Bloody illegal ingredients, coming here and stealing our jobs"

What is the world coming to? first it was horse meat in tesco burgers, now they find camel toe in primark leggings!

Our neighbour's dog shit in our garden so mum told to me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.

I don't see what that solved, we've still got dog shit in our garden and the neighbours now have our shovel.

No, you were supposed to use the shovel to throw the dog over the fence.

Chinese branches of Tescos have come under scrutiny due to their quater-panda burgers.