Jokes / Joke du jour!

My girlfreind just introduced me to twitter, its great.

It's the bit between her twat and her shitter

:d

Oh dear. ;-D

D-
Could do better

• The Times *
  
  

1 Star
*The Grunaid *

1/10
Not his best work

• Evening Standard *
  
  

2/10
" Had it's moments but on the whole quite a disappointing joke "

• TimeOut *
  

"Best Fackin Gag Ever"
The Daily Sport

From the Skyfall imdb page:

This movie's climax will be filmed at Duntrune Castle, near Lochgilphead, Scotland in early 2012. A nearby local pub, the Argyll Arms Hotel, near the town of Ardrishaig, is planning on having a Scottish James Bond-themed menu. Meals scheduled to be available here will include the From Russian Casserole With Love, The Man with the Golden Haddock, For Your Pies Only, Her Majesty's Secret Sandwiches, and the Scaramanga Scampi.

Whats flat and grey and lies in the road?

The road.

What's text and shit and is ^that joke on a forum.

^That joke on this forum.

ha

Fucking new page.

Awesome. Bad joke Tuesday it is then.

Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?

If it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Aaannd, pause for applause...

Better.

not that it could have got any worse

My girlfriend was sucking me off when she stopped and asked, "Why do you never give me oral sex?"

"I would do," I replied, "but I had an awful experience once where I went down on a bird and the stench made me sick."

"I thought you'd only ever been with me?" she asked.

"I have," I replied.

That ^^ wasn't a challenge.

Sickipedia strikes again......!!

how do you titillate an ocelot?

you oscillate its tit alot.

I asked the ice cream man for a space rocket.

he said, certainly, that'll be about 1.7 billion dollars please

william
STOP

:d

ok.

lol

yeah rocket lollies are only about £2

now funnier thanks to wikipedia