I hate

Thinking of things more boring than the oscars was loads more interesting than the oscars :-)

I’ve never understood them since Ghandi beat ET in most categories not relating to sound and visual effects. ET to me was a much better movie, I was ten.

Awards full stop. Self-congratulatory, solipsistic, mutual wank fests.

^this

America seems to come to a halt for the Oscars. Say a lot about that country’s collective psyche.

Does this mean the 'Rock God' award I was given in Year 11 means nothing? I've been riding off the back of that for years.

solipsistic, mutual wank fests.

Where do I sign up?

When someone else jerks you off but you are not able to prove their existence but you celebrate your own orgasm?

Ghandi was rubbish. Gave away the ending in the first scene.

Is this "Ghandi" thing anything to do with Gandhi?

"We're making Online for Business even more secure, to protect you and your business.
Soon, you'll need to have a Card & Card Reader available every time you log on"

Google doing that thing where it hijacks your Google account because you mistakenly linked your spam Gmail with your main non-gmail account.

"Professional mermaid"

this reminds me of a car sticker I hated a while back:
'runs on fairy dust'

Actually it runs on extinct animals and belches death you insufferable child.

Which is why Vegans shouldn’t drive cars or use any crude oil based products

Sponsored ‘sleepouts’ to raise money for homelessness. How on earth is spending one night in a car park with and M&S picnic supposed to generate any empathy with the actual indignity of living on the streets?

Or drink water, that's been through all sorts of animals before it gets to us.

I refuse to drink water that’s been through the bladder of a fish, but that’s for religious reasons mainly.

Also water gives you cancer. Everyone who has died of that shit has drunk water

True, but it also cures it if you water down the water with enough water.

I'm a Capricorn so I'm allergic to water anyway

Broken arms

Depends whose.

The wife's :(

The phrase "Treat the disease, not the symptoms". It's a reasonable enough statement, but is almost never used reasonably. Problems with it:

1. It's not a binary option, doing both is entirely possible and often necessary.
   
2. Doctors treat symptoms all the time - they're usually the things that are going to kill you.
   
3. Almost everybody who uses the phrase doesn't give a shit about the actual problem, they just want to feel smarter than anybody actually dealing with it.
   
   

Last time I had it thrown at me was in a conversation about a scheme I work with that gives interview training to unemployed/homeless men. One smug asshole pipes up with "That's just treating the symptoms, it's not addressing the disease". And I looked at him and thought "You don't give a shit about the actual problem, you contribute nothing to it in any way, but you feel really superior for saying that.".

Actually, I thought that later. What I thought at the time was "Die, you worthless piece of shit."