Jokes / Joke du jour!

i say i say i say my dogs got no nose.
How does he smell?
Of badger.

Do you use a dictaphone?

No I use my fingaz!

What's blue and white and can't climb trees?

A fridge in a denim jacket

:-D

Q: What's got two legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog.

:(

It's okay, it's not real.

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irish family?

none.

It's okay, it's not real.

What do you mean?

:(

It's okay, there isn't really a dog that's been cut in half.

But, but, but it says so up there ^^^^

He got better.

Pet shop joke classic:

Hello, have you got any wasps?

I'm sorry we don't sell wasps

What about the one in the window?

He got better.

Ah, I'm glad.

So was he.

Hmmmm that didn't work, wonder why.

Just booked a holiday in Tenerife

Head off on Monday.............

Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!"He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"

My house got burgled last night by three robbers but I managed to knock one out! Upon reflection, probably not the best time for a wank.

Saw a fat bird walking down the street today. She had a T-shirt on saying I Love The HIP HOP. I think the letters C and S must have fallen off!

lol
http://wacsocial.co.uk/?p=804

Craig David is going to be involved in the 2012 Olympics Archery competition...

He's going to be the bow selector.

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says "Can you make me one with everything?"

don't know if that joke is a good as when it's actually being told to the Dalai Lama