Jokes / Joke du jour!

They should give the detective that catches the killer erase

I was standing next to hamlet in the stationers who was pondering over the pencils
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' 2b or not 2b ? '

Someone else was seriously injured during the incident. They are in hospital, their condition is Stabilo

Providing his evidence isn't a bit sketchy.

Have they got any leads?

They are drawing upon expert witnesses

I've just seen a news report about someone being murdered with a pencil

So are the police treating it as a pencil case ?

I'm sure they will catch the killer easel y

They are drawing upon expert witnesses

Sounds a bit sketchy..

ypu're all so sharp

Sounds a bit sketchy..

Thats just the current staedtler of the investigation

The jokes are just 2H ent.

If he achieves a conviction he's sure to be propelled through the ranks.

you can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead

Thieves have stolen the lavatories from my local police station
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Detectives say they have nothing to go on

What’s the opposite of a croissant......?

A happy uncle

A glue manufacturer friend of mine was thinking of retiring
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I've managed to persuade them to stick it out for another year

A sewage worker friend of mine wants to retire.

I've convinced them to carry on going through the motions.

A goat farmer acquaintance was considering retirement.

I've talked then into keeping at it for the sake of the kids.

I have a radiologist friend who was planning to retire early but I advised them to see it through.

I heard Barbara Windsor was thinking of packing it all in.

I sent her a letter to convince her to carry on.

A friend of mine has just been made redundant at mensa
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But they're looking on the bright side

A seamstress friend of mine is having marital difficulties
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They're feeling rather hemmed in

Two manicurist friends of mine are having marital difficulties
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They're filing for divorce

A colander sales person friend is having marital difficulties
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Their relationship is under strain

A cheese maker friend of mine has seen his business collapse. It’s affected his marriage. They no longer curdle, everything’s gone sour and they have separated.