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I’m sorry folks, I had to actively just disengage from this for a while, and then the guilt of not having replied to folk/ thanked people for their kind wishes pushed me away even further (I realise this is all me and not the intentions behind any of the contacts from genuinely wonderful people).

Healing has gone well and back on the bike which was great this summer for cycling out to beaches and Toronto a bit of sea swimming for the first time since I’ve been up here as a bit of an exercise in self care. I’ve been getting a lot more pain recently though.. I wasn’t sure if it was just because I was doing more but they gave me an x-Ray to see if one of the screws has worked it’s way loose a little, just waiting on answers back from that..
My left shoulder also started dislocating randomly a few months ago. Had a historic injury from getting hit by a car during a drunken bike race in Toronto and think leaning on a crutch for months just aggravated that. Been booked in for surgery in the new year to tighten up tendons to stop it slipping out.

Other beautiful updates, I got a wee council house on shapinsay with a view of the water and a wee garden. Nihil is now an outside cat and the fact that the other side of those windows is a space she can be has blown her wee mind! She loves the garden, and I’m feeling very fortunate to be here!

Work at the blide trust has been really really positive this year! Made good connections with the highland park distillery locally after some of their staff volunteered in the garden. This led to their parent company choosing our charity for a massive fundraiser and we raised over £160,000!! They even made a promo video for us which was something we’d always wanted to do but never had the skills/cash to do it properly! We also put on an amazing music and poetry event called headspace showcase in the summer and this led to the local bbc radio station doing an hour show about the charity and showcasing the talents of some of our members. I gave the website a proper refresh too and both the promo video and the recording of the radio show can be found on the homepage if anyone fancies checking them out, blide trust.org.uk

Another unexpected beautiful wee thing, I was reunited with this Hansom from @hollow__legs . I always regretted selling it and he got in touch earlier in the year as he had always promised to give me first refusal on it if he wasn’t going to keep it! Very very grateful for that! I also built up a shitty old leader frame because it was one that brought me a lot of joy when first riding fixed

In terms of the house, I drove past it for the first time in months the other day and nothing has changed on the outside since I left, I know the heating and hot water and things are set now though. Not great communication from things but imagine it will be going up for sale in the spring and hoping the market improves between now and then, might even put in a wee bid..

Other than that I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who attempted to check in or provide words of encouragement or support this year, it was appreciated more than you could know (and more than I articulated!) here’s looking at you @JurekB @PC2 @gillies @knowthejo @russmeyer @kjlem @jonny @Hefty @dbr @skinny @stevo_com @bigshape @PeteJChurchill and anyone else who has been following along that I’ve been shit and haven’t included!

@JurekB I've been really shit at this, sorry.. and thank you for checking in! Things are getting better and progressing each day. Moved into a wee ground floor flat that belongs to a friend a couple weeks ago that I can use for a few months before holiday let season starts. Got my cat Nihil moved in with me too so it's feeling pretty homely. It feeling temporary isn't ideal, but got my name on the local housing list and things and keeping my fingers crossed. I was really worried about how I'd manage at first, but have managed pretty much everything independently since moving in and have had offers from neighbours and friends on island of picking up shopping and things for me too so feeling pretty fortunate. Signal is slim to none here so my phone has to be jammed against the window in order to get enough to hotspot to get slow internet on the laptop.. if anyone calls I'm standing jammed up against the window too so it doesn't cut out. This is the view out the big living room window and back door though. Loads of seals come and stay on the rocks when the tide is low and there's a couple herons and some oystercatchers too so really can't complain!

Getting less sore and more mobile all the time, walking with just the one crutch in the house now (limped down the hallway without one after going for a pee the other day, before realising halfway that I didn't have it and should probably go back for it). Feeling like I've plateaued a little after the initial jump from no walking at all to getting down a hallway, but trying to remind myself of the progress there has been when I get down on myself about it.
Trying my best with the physio exercises, but there's a ton of pain and swelling in my knee preventing me from doing too much and that worsens when I do the exercises. Was in pedal straps when I went down so think I went down pretty much horizontally with the bike when it slid out on the ice. The femur took the main impact and the top of my inner thigh took a battering from the saddle, but think the seat tube had knocked my knee out of place as well (I have a bit of a history with dislocations and sublimations in my knees and this feels very similar..). In terms of pain around the hip there really isn't much and it's the knee that's waking me up overnight and that gets really sore with any standing or walking that's too prolonged or if it's straight or bent for too long sitting or lying. Got a referral to outpatient physio for it that I'm waiting on and the surgeon has mentioned getting me down again for an MRI on it, but around the pins needs to heal a bit better first as apparently the metal will get hot in the machine.. Ditched all the nasty painkillers too so for the last couple weeks really it's only been paracetamols I've been taking and trying to reduce those too.

I hired one of those mobility scooters for getting into Kirkwall on the boat and making sure I didn't end up feeling isolated. It's really handy, but feels pretty disempowering and I really don't like using it, while being completely aware of it's handiness for now. Days in town and seeing folk is nice, but everything takes longer and more effort and I'm finding myself napping in the evenings if I've been out that day.

Trying to eat healthier as well to aid recovery so smoothies and porridge and such like that I'd never normally have bothered with, as well more fruit/less chocolate and snacky shite. Not sure if I'm feeling better for them, or whether I'm feeling a bit better because it feels like I'm making more positive choices for myself and that kind of agency feels nice.

Had time on my hands so picking up the banjo again, going to take a while to be able to do much tuneful with it, and it sitting on my lap does get sore after a wee while, but I am enjoying it. Thought I had lost all my music years ago when my hard drive died and never bothered uploading anything else to it, but found it all again searching for how to use the camera on the laptop and coming across a song that had the word "camera" in the title! Had a lot of fun rediscovering and remembering things I had completely forgotten about over the last wee while. The soundtrack to recovery so far has been a few different podcasts (really recommend Ologies and For The Wild for nice, engaged and in depth conversation and Top Flight Time Machine for some funny shit talking), coupled with lovely 5-10 year old folk and post rock as well as some folk punk and cascadian black metal from my time in the pacific northwest years ago.

My ex is still in the house, and it sounds like hard going as the immersion was faulty in the hot water tank so she still doesn't have hot water/heating other than the stove. The renewables/heat pump is taking a while to set up between chasing parts and people trying to get their head around the system. Not entirely sure what the next step will be in terms of who lives there/does it just get sold, but think we'll be making steps on that soon..

Honestly, been a bit too doped up to do full proper replies to people, but all of this support and niceness has really touched me, genuinely had a few wee tears reading through things. @youramericanlover this has been really handy, thank you! And thank you for your reassurance @JonD They got me up for my first few steps on an arjo the day after the surgery and even got seated on a chair and used the commode (which had been a bit of a panic after multiple days of heavy painkillers..). Yesterday was a wee step back in confidence.. I was feeling really good about getting up and on the zimmer and into a chair, but then a nurse hit my foot with the lunch table which made me really sore and tense and then 2 nurses I hadn’t worked with before tried to get me back into bed but were just pulling me and moving without really talking about what I had to do and I was just tense and panicky and sore so by the time I was in bed I didn’t want back out again.. I think a lot of the problem was less the nurses but a dose of morphine making me a bit foggy and unable to let them know that I needed to understand what had to happen as it was my first time doing it.
I’m feeling much more positive today, much more, less painful movement and got out into the hall with a zimmer, showed the OT getting up and down from the toilet and over into a chair so just a wee dip and things are much better today!

Physios have been in each day since and I have some exercises to start on, able to bend my knee when I’m lying or sitting (it was just lying yesterday) but still haven’t cracked lifting my heel yet, maybe tomorrow after some more practice today!

@TotalShanner that’s a really good way of articulating that, thank you! Self esteem has never been great to allow for self care but I am beginning to recognise the importance of exactly that. @owl definitely going to be cracking the banjo out and picking away on recovery evenings I reckon.

@kjlem @damskodonny @johnnettles2 we nearly bought that when we were first looking up here! Then we quickly realised that was a ridiculous thought and we had nowhere near enough money/skills to get anywhere near that being habitable and nice!!

@BigH @haveo that’s perfect, thank you very much, haven’t even seen one in person never mind tried one out so just wasn’t sure.
I hope you manage to get it sold, but am also crossing my fingers it’s still around in a couple months. First painful shuffles on a big zimmer today so fingers crossed things are back to relatively normal soon

I fucking LOVE lufguss!! I was really just looking to answer @andyp and explain the lack of recent updates, but as always I am just blown away by the kindness and support of this community! I don’t quite know how to express it, but thank you so much to all of you.

Surgery went well today, woke up in agony and feels like they chucked every painkiller they could at it. Between that and a few position adjustments it is feeling much better now (Although there will be a few horses in a field somewhere in a lot of pain).
No traction cast either as it’s all pins and screws so I’m starting to try and bend my knee and move my foot in preparation for the physio trying to get me up on a zimmer or crutches tomorrow.🩼

@andyp Hey Andy, not great unfortunately. I hadn’t been happy in the relationship for a while and had failed pretty miserably at ever communicating it, instead choosing just to distract myself with the build and work until I’d just let it go too far.. I’m staying in Kirkwall just now while we work out what to do with the house and whether one of us can afford to manage it on our own (I really don’t want to sell it to anyone else!).
Then, I started to try a bit of self care going into the new year, did some yoga Sunday and Monday and then because I was in Kirkwall I decided I’d treat myself to a cycle out to the beach afterwards, hit some black ice coming round a corner and broke my femur in two places right at the hip.. helicoptered down to Aberdeen a couple days ago and I’m just waiting to go into surgery for some pins and screws.. hoping 2023 improves soon haha 🤞

@haveo a nasty femur break a couple days ago has meant I’m going to really struggle to do anything with this or get another bike stripped down to sell and fund this for what seems like a considerable amount of time.. gutted, but glws and I’ll be in touch as soon as I’m able to start considering this if it hasn’t been snapped up already..

@BigH is it pretty but not that fun a bike to ride that this is the one getting cleared from collections?

Haha, funny you should say that, a breakdown in the relationship has meant that I’m in a wee flat in Kirkwall for now.. I hadn’t been happy in a while but hadn’t ever communicated that and just ran with the house build and work as distraction/ way to ignore it, and I just let that continue for too long without any conversation until it got past being able to rescue it.. haha, that would have been a great idea though! Tempted to see if I can get my banjo and maybe spend evenings practicing that again..

@Nef cheers bud! Yeah it was just yesterday morning the break, all the main roads were salted, turned onto a road that just looked wet (but wasn’t) and the bike disappeared from under me.. I’ve split it right across at the hip joint and chipped another bit off too.. helicoptered to Aberdeen and just waiting for surgery to pin and screw it all back together tomorrow..

Let’s see what other challenges 2023 throws! :)

Urgh, did yoga, bike ride out to the beach, black ice on the corner, broken femur..😫

Thanks for starting this again, I really wanted involved last year but weight has always been a bit of a thing for me. From 21st at 17 or 18 to around 13st (I will do a proper weigh next time I’m near scales) now 20 years later with massive fluctuations between that depending on context/mental health at those points. Goal is more activity and less in the way of processed foods, I get into doom spirals where you feel shit so throw shitty food in the oven which makes me feel shit the next day so I just throw something shit in the oven.. Never been one for self care but think this is the year for trying to do things right. Starting yoga with Adrienne on YouTube again today which is a free 30 day programme with a new episode each day, did it last January and loved it, but just got out the way of doing it after so my goal is to maintain it past the end of the month too. Think my goal is probably loss of about a stone, but it seems to be a difficult stone that just sits right on my midriff..

I’ll send you a pm for the pizza shirt just now

Damn, 2nd dibs on the bell, I’ll pm too

That’d be great if you could, thanks very much
@gubhi pm on its way

This is exactly what I shouldn’t do but I know I will.. you’re not interested in buying a rossin or a track shark to help fund this are you?

Ooh I reckon there’s 3 inches that can be made up between seatpost and stem, let me think on it, is it max 25c clearance? glws either way though, beautiful frame!

Goddamn that’s good! What height are you?

I don’t have a dimmer as when we were planning things I just figured they always seem the first switches to go.. the idea of a mirrored half of the bulb seems interesting to kill some of that harshness. They were bulbs we bought ages back with no real consideration of exactly what we might need so hoping a combo of the mirrored/frosted and lower wattage should make a difference.
Haha, I know what you mean, everyone on here has been so positive and supportive of things that it does make a really nice read.

@damskodonny you’re exactly right, living in cities most of my life weather and seasons are things that just happen to you rather than something you’re involved in and see the progression of. Sounds a bit hippy like but think one of my goals for the next year is taking my shoes off and just standing in the ground more.

I’ve mentioned it before in the thread but mental health, self esteem and isolation are things I’ve struggled with throughout this build, as well as just generally. I’ve found documenting things here really useful as it’s given me the space to look back to see what I’ve managed when things are getting me down, or to convince myself there’s a lot more that’s been done than still needs to happen. It’s always been a major part in not feeling so isolated and sometimes just a little encouraging word from someone supportive on here has been exactly what I’ve needed for keeping going. Feeling incredibly fortunate and feel I’ve got a lot more from this than anything I have put in.

Got this sheet back on for the fuse box to get attached. Was terrified of going through any of this as it’s all the electrics and the mains water so had to pretty much draw it out on the sheet for future reference.

Also nihil seems to be building her winter chunk and has now claimed the armchair closest to the stove in the evenings..

Thread of the year? There’s much cooler things going on than this surely? Yeah it’s a really beautiful spot, feeling incredibly fortunate there was such a beautiful bit of land going.

We had actually visited twatt church a couple times considering a renovation project but quickly realised I did not have the skill and we did not have the money for that.. I reckon we’d still be sitting damp with a fire going in the middle of it if we’d gone down that route.. it’s really tough to give a time of year, we can have beautiful weeks in spring and autumn, but the next week it can feel like winter again. I love the winter, but it can be a real problem getting here with boat cancellations sometimes and the summer can be stunning one week and then you don’t even see the coast the next week when the sea fog (haar) settles.. last year my parents left that massive heatwave and came up here to an entire week of mist and didn’t see the sun once.. a lot of the time when the weather is bad it blows through quite quickly though so you can get a nice day either side too. Those still days are amazing after a storm; kind of feels like the wind has run out

Sorry to disappoint, it’s been sleety here, but pretty miserable and not overly photo worthy..
started full time at the mental health charity I work for so I’ll be leaving and returning in the dark for the next few months too..

@Five-Hats noted, and I will get to work on that! @Cazakstan I will probably barrage you with more of nihil as she gets comfier and finds her spots. She used to love on top of doors but couldn’t in the place we rented for 3 years because they were all fire doors that swung shut. She got 3/4 of the way up one the other day, I think she’s finding her climbing feet again!

The sparky got some more of the lights wired together so could see the bathroom with the spotlights in which was nice. And with some side up and down lighters the shadows of the two big lights meet in the middle in a really pleasing fashion. Definitely need some gentler lightbulbs in the driftwood light but that’s easily done.. the sparky fell through his ceiling working on his house and cracked his ribs. Fortunately he says he wasn’t too badly hurt, but not quite sure how much more that will progress for a wee while, these things were sent to try us..

Will need blinds for the consistent daylight in the summer but have really enjoyed the light from the moon in there the last few mornings/

Thanks so much John! Still plenty to do, but it is beginning to feel home like! We’ve got all the lights running now (through the generator at the minute unfortunately but still) and he’s hoping to get al our sockets and things in use too. Still no further forward with the plumbers coming out to finish their side though. It was my partner’s 40th yesterday so I surprised her with an Orkney chair. Had the craftsman make it with Scottish burr oak and it is just a thing of beauty. Reckon it’s going to sit pretty nicely in there!

@rawspuds yeah me neither, it’s so changeable with weather, light and season that it’s never the same.

@skinny thank you! Haha that lack of pretentiousness just comes from having no money left and having to use what furniture we had brought from previous places 😂

@ketsbaia haha yes very much so, and @crossedthread is right, when nothing matters the world and all it’s possibilities open outside of the current social framework. Freedom and joy outside of the crushing death knell of capitalism, attempts and successes mean as much (or as little) as attempts and failures! You should also look into the ideas of passive and active nihilism, passive being allowing things to crumble and active being doing all you can to accelerate the death of meaning, theory and societal values/structures.. anyway, probably a different thread for that somewhere, here’s pictures of a hand crafted chair with about 150 hours of skilled work put in.

Haha does a cider in front of the stove count??

@skinny @mi7rennie @Five-Hats @Eejit @Ottomanotter @TW @JurekB thanks so much, just a long shutter so can’t take any credit but definitely the most vivid I’ve seen since being here!

@Foreigner65 sorry yeah, it’s air to water, we had looked at ground source but would have been another 10k or so in groundworks and we just couldn’t manage it, would probably have been more efficient though. I’m hoping the northern gusts here don’t impact it too much!

@hvsds that’s really kind of you to remember thank you! Moving in was a bit of a riot but we got there.. starting to make it feel like home! Got the last of the tiles in the bathroom in and grouted this weekend too. Had the stove going all weekend and cooked lunch on/in it both days. Kept the place nice and toasty actually.

It’s definitely true, the house is subconsciously the same colour as nihil!!

Thank you so much, it’s way more than I could have ever hoped for. Think I’m going to spend most of my time just staring out those windows when this is all done. Although, there’s still a huge amount to do inside and 16 tons of stone in the driveway for building a porch so that might not be for a while yet..

@johnnettles2 ooh, do you have any pictures?? I’ve got pink and purple paint and a can of montana crackle paint sitting waiting for the steamroller but just haven’t had a chance yet.. not sure if we’ll get mature trees in our lifetime, but hoping for at least some windbreaks and willow hedgerows over time. That must be really exciting! I hope you’ll be starting a thread I can follow!

@Hefty You couldn’t have articulated that better! Had some really good days recently and then the plumbers haven’t shown up this week, the joiner’s clamp holding the shower panels came off the wall and chipped the shower tray.. the main room looks like a building site, and we have to move in Friday morning.. been a tough couple days.. it looks like you’re making something really beautiful there! I can’t imagine what 18 months on your own must feel like, I’m incredibly impressed by your resilience. Maybe one day we can give tours to each other, no need to lock up the bike either! If you ever need a rant or a vent I’m here.

@Foreigner65 that’s really great info, thank you very much! I just missed carbide hole saws in the middle of Lidl as well.. yeah uh huh, water underfloor heating so it’ll be powering that and the hot water. Yeah me neither, and there doesn’t seem to be a huge amount of suppliers/engineers either..?

Haha, thank you, although I reckon I’m just giving off an impression of organised or together..

I did make these wee tile bits for framing the sockets so it’s level behind for screwing the socket on top of. Got the outside lights fitted too.

The joiner got the shower panels finished today which I’m really happy with the look of. I tried cutting the floor tiles for finishing the room this evening but failed with a tricky fit around the shower panel trim and not quite in the right headspace so called it a night and I’ll do it in the light at the weekend..

We had the most amazing northern lights the other night. This is a long exposure, but you could actually see the green verticals moving around by eye.

That’s really kind of you, thank you. Yeah uh huh, broke ground last June, but between searching for land, planning, building control etc it’s been about 5 years in the making. I am trying to be, self esteem and the like have never come easy to me, but as it’s coming together I am managing to see what we’ve achieved. People have asked if I’m proud about it before and my answer has always been “I hope I will be when it’s done”.

That’s intensely kind of you @andyp thank you. It can really feel isolating slogging it out on my own and being let down by trades/shipping/timescales so the support from fellow forumers has meant more than you could know.

Had a nice day outside today so took advantage of it and got the slab laid for the heat pump. Got the kitchen tiles all grouted and tidied off too. The sink still doesn’t have a tap in it as they cracked the ceramic glaze drilling the tap hole.. it’s just some of the finish that has chipped away so I’ve bought some kind of enamel chip repair. They’ve ordered us another sink but have told me that I’ll have to drill it this time and they always ask this of customers if they’ve bought ceramic, has anyone else come across that? Either way, I might just try and fix this one first and either sell the second one or use it in the workshop.

I’m a medium when these are printed 😉

Thanks so much bud, couldn’t be happier with them!!

Getting those tiles round plugs was a fight this week! I was knackered and getting measurements and cuts wrong trying to do it in the dark after tough days at work. A good night’s sleep and doing it in the daylight was much easier and I got that finished off. Even feeling confident enough now to knock a few off above plugs that I wasn’t happy with and replace with slightly longer ones so I was certain it was the right overlap for the sockets rather than just hoping. Got the coffee table up and gave the place a proper tidy today too. There will be a couch sitting in front of the table facing the windows, but I’m currently sleeping on that so don’t want to move it up too early.

Grouting tomorrow and then laying a slab outside for the heat pump to sit on.