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Aston Merrygold and David Norris probably the two most notable during my time there.
Wikipedia has Keith Palmer (Prodigy's Maxim Reality) as a former student, and I'm pretty confident Gizz Butt was there too.
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We had a German teacher called Mrs Junk (pronounced Yunk) and she made us call her Frau Junk to get us in the spirit... obviously we started calling her Frau Spunk behind her back... and then to her face. She didn't know what Spunk meant until she asked one of the other teachers... wasn't very happy about that one bit!
One kid in woodwork got a piece of wood with a nail stuck in it slammed into the top of his head and got hackled by the kid that did it by shouting EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE at the top of his voice.
Saw the most brutal fight in a hut with two girls, Emma Bates and Georgina Ling... man, I don't know how either of them survived
One of my mate's brothers would shout NUTS at the top of his lungs and kick people square in the nuts... saw a lot of tears... the same guy did a scanners impression, blacked out and smashed his two front teeth out when he hit the floor... got up, picked up his teeth and said "what a rush". Total nut job but one of the nicest guys you could know.
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Edited from Wikipedia.
My senior school notable ulumni:
Mike Ashley, entrepreneur.
Jimmy Carr, comedian.
David Connolly, retired footballer.
Ulrika Jonsson, television presenter.
Jon Potter, retired Olympic hockeyist.
Tracey Ullman, alleged actress and alleged comedian. (I think) I turned down sex on my moped seat with her, circa 1976. Unless it was a joke! -
I turned down sex on my moped seat with her, circa 1976. Unless it was a joke!
Doesn't mention that on her Wikipedia page...
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Just think, if I had accepted her offer things may have been different. We might never have had The Simpsons. I hate the fucking Simpsons.
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Weirdly, my old school sent both a boy and a girl out to represent Wales at kickball after being relieved of the impediment of having to educate my siblings. One of my little brother's classmates can be heard fairly frequently on BBC news, and somebody from my big brother's year group went on to significant success in motocross.
As far as I know, the only member of my class who has attracted even minor notice did so behind the stick of XH558. We used to call him Tintin, back when his hair was blond and that kick up at the front was less controlled.
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This thread needs @General_Lucifer
Just sayin’
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Googling my secondary school has not done me any favours... an absolutely shocking amount of paedophiles and child abusers (let alone the ones who didn't make the news), plus a chemistry teacher who my younger brother absolutely idolised who warranted this headline :
Chemistry teacher 'plotted online to acquire a caged child then abuse and murder them'.
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We wanted to see what would happen if you left the power on in the ‘wash’ stage of copper electrolysis (post copper sulphate you dip it in ethanol). Much to our disappointment, nothing happened so we scooped a bit up on the cathode and sparked it with the anode, at which point it burst into flames. My friend panicked, knocking the beaker of ethanol all over the workbench and then the firey cathode straight into it. This obviously then all caught fire, sending flames 2-3m up towards the ceiling. Sadly before camera phones because it looked amazing!
Weirdly the only person who got told off was the boy who rushed to get a fire extinguisher and put the fire out. -
We had an English teacher who was pre op male to female, called Miss Moorhead (name chosen by her). For whatever reason the school decided the children going on a summer trip with had to be told that fact. Someone then found a photo of when she was a man. Her name from then on was Mrs LessHead but because she was well liked as a teacher she actually survived ok.
My worst moment was deciding to throw iodine on a hot gauze and having half the school evacuated as thick purple smoke filled the hallways.
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Thinking back our biology teacher was probably a bit of a lech, not that I think he ever did anything other than make suggestive remarks. I think someone got expelled for breaking into the biology lab and cranking the heat on the incubator, killing the fruit flies we'd been breeding all term as a genetics experiment. They were a bit of a psycho, and that was the final straw.
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Someone in my Year 11 chemistry class once decided he needed to know if the test tube he was holding in tongs after just removing it from the flame was still hot. He did so by pressing it onto the neck of his good friend leaving him with quite a nice burn. I think they were each other’s best men at their weddings
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In science class we had to find out "what the liquid is" using various techniques that had been taught the previous year.
Now, the liquid was in 250ml old panda pop bottles, so it wasn't anything acidic, as they were stored in glass bottles.We all got given a bottle and sent to our desks.
The 1st thing I did was taste it (I knew it wasn't anything volatile as we wouldn't be trusted since we blew a fish tank up with sodium(?), Put a little in water and it burns, we dumped loads in there)
Turns out the bottle of mystery liquid was salt water.
Someone convinced a pal to smell it, and then squeezed the bottle onto his face, he screamed and ran about like it was fire.We all got taken aside and given a serious bollocking.
Even when I pointed out they hadn't made us wear any safety clothing, offered close supervision, or warned us not to get it on our skin, it just made it worse.
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About
Tales from the school yard.
Posted by
@Constable_Savage
Mine was a School of Jokers. Russ Abbot, Keith Harris and Bob Mills came from Queens Park, Chester.