For Sale: codswallop ( Charlie Z Harris - crazygill85@hotmail.co.uk ) defrauding people

i hope he eats slightly too much and feels bloated

i hope he goes home to his sink estate,on entry hears a weird moaning, and finds his mum hanging out the back of his dad like on trainspotting

I hope his barber does a not so great job

I hope his MacBook keeps giving him the spinning wheel of death ©

I hope his moustache and beard never join up

I hope his key snaps in the lock

.

I hope his headset gets brinnelled.

i hope he goes into hospital to get his tonsills out, then wakes up post-op to be told by a very creepy looking guy that he's got a suppository put in to help manage the pain.

I hope he drops his toast he made with the last slice of bread and it lands butter side down so he has to pick between toast with small hairs and dirt stuck in the butter or making it again with the crust.

I hope he wakes one day to find he has drooled all over his pillow.

I hope he finds out out the woman he thought was his sister is his mum, and the woman her thought was his mum is his gran.

I hope he eats a very hot slice of pizza that burns the roof of his mouth, causing a little bit of epidermis to dangle down and inflame the exposed new epidermis below.

And that the pizza wasn't a pizza, but was actually a bears cock.

A bears hot cock.

I hope he overcooks his pasta.

I hope he sneezes and a big lump of phlegm lands in his hand and he has nowhere to wipe it so he tries to eat it to get rid of it, but some of it stays stuck to his hand and the rest goes down his chin, and when he finally manages to scoop the whole lot back into his mouth he realises several people have been watching attentively throughout

I hope he finds out out the man he thought was his brother is his mum, and the man he thought was his dad is his gran's gran.

i hope he mans the fuck up and either pays people or sends them the shit they need
Amerie feat. Nas - Man Up - YouTube

I hope he orders something at a cafe and the person serving him mishears him and gives him something else but he can't bring himself to correct them so he accepts it but a child behind him in the queue has heard and points the mistake out loudly so he has to tell the child that they have misheard and this was really what he ordered and the person serving him hears and offers to change it but by now he's trying to convince everyone that this is what he actually ordered and he knows his face must be red and everyone can see him arguing with a child about food he doesn't want but will be forced to eat and pretend to enjoy.

I hope he hits his thumb with a hammer and his nail goes black and eventually falls off

I hope he gets selected to ride the TdF, wins it, becomes the symbol of cycling success and hope of a nation, gets knighted, then blackballed by his team over a team mate that has the physiognomy of a praying mantis and the persona of a cut price scented candle, and is never allowed to defend his title or ride it again.

I hope he makes souffle's for a dinner party as his previous attempts were off the scale but this time they collapse and end up looking like trodden yorkshire puddings

yeah, i hope he gets a fucking Whitlow!

We live in hope !

I hope no one quits their day job, or he does and his prospects aren't as promising as he thought.

I hope he buys a lottery ticket and realises he has won the jackpot only to go to the shop to get his ticket verified and finds out the 10 is actually 16.