Awkward Moments

Awkward moments. We've all had them. Through horribly cringeworthy at the time, in retrospect they are usually pretty funny, so here is a place to share and take joy in the absurdity of everyday modern life.

I'll start...had a slightly awkward moment earlier when a lady came to test ride my road bike and as we were standing in my yard looking at it a tiny mouse appeared from somewhere, nipped between the wheels and disappeared into a crack in the wall. Totally ruined my sales patter.

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I once fell asleep when engaged in a very drunken number based sex act once I was done but before she was.

When I started a thread for people to post posts that they thought deserved rep, but hadn't received any.

I just had an awkward moment trying to think of any awkward moments, which I never have.

I predict that some people will be unable to stop themselves from bragging in this thread.

On a forum ride, a small group of people were gathered around my bike in silence as they tried to think of something nice to say about it.

hahaha

Not actually an awkward moment per se. Once upon a time around lunchtime I queued up in the Post Office for a tax disc for my bike. When I got to the cashier's window I passed the paperwork through and vaguely heard the cashier say "What about that stuff in America?". I was really not interested in talking so I glibly replied "Well that's Americans for you". I took my tax disc from the quizzical looking cashier and went home. I turned the TV on to watch whilst I had my lunch and .......Oh. The date was 11th of September 2001.

At a mates wedding, just outside Basingstoke, I was smearing butter on my testicles at the sandwich bar in the hotels kitchen sometime in the early hours of the morning when the manager and two other staff came in.

Room service?

^^^ A tax disc for your bike? Is that a thing?

Bloody cyclists, paying road tax. Or in this case, probably motorcyclists.

i used to work in a 5 star hotel in darkest surrey, one day i caught the early shift breakfast chef plums deep in an entire side of scottish smoked salmon.

trustory.

as a child I decided to cut my own hair one evening, styling it on a picture of Michael Owen from that week's issue of Match magazine. Unfortunately I was too young to realise he had a receding hair line, so just cut myself a Draculaesque v shape with nail scissors.

Is this going to become the 'plums deep' thread?

I predict that some people will be unable to stop themselves from bragging in this thread.

Is this going to become the 'plums deep' thread?

.

When I was staying with my brother in-law in Tokyo earlier this year I walked into the living room to see him tommy tankin' to some freaky anime. I didn't get the title of the film, but I'm sure it would've involved some animated balls deep action at some point.

Do tentacle monsters have balls?

Huge ones!

Probably. How else would it be expected to perform in an epic bukkake scene?

When I started a thread for people to post posts that they thought deserved rep, but hadn't received any.
Cringe

I once had a one night stand with a mad bint who had actually changed her name by deed pole to W Axl Rose.

In the morning we were at it again, her on top, when her house mate blundered in with a cup of tea for her.
The housemate looked over, saw everything, went, 'OH!', which caused W Axl Rose to pound down hard on my cock and bollocks and give the most immense fanny fart I've ever heard.

There was a long, weird silence, then the girl backed out of the room with both mugs of tea.

Awkward.