For Sale: Foffa Single Speed Custom-built bicycle

^^ You know, there are better ways to cure a sore throat.

I once ate two packs of sugar free Tunes more or less in one sitting.
Very ill from the rear.
Missed the Amberley Ale festival which was very upsetting. Especially as I remember there were some superb morris dancers there the year before last and I was hoping to see them again.

Coolmints did exactly that to me when I was about twelve. I thought I was turning myself inside out.

Fig Rolls had a similar detrimental effect too.

Sugar free polos. I found out the hard way with them too.

I find drinking 11 pints of 'pound a pint' Tennents lager can make me do at least 6 horse-sized shits the next day.

It really does make me question if I am indeed, full of shit, and would recommend to anyone who is trying to get rid of extra baggage before a big race.

Super T or the standard?
11 pints of Super T is barely doable.

standard. Super is tramp-juice.

There's a reason why I don't drink Stella Artois.

Fermented mid-morning beery turds.

Or available in half-pints in Milan style bars for 11 euros. It's a strange one.

Italy - a nation that gets shit-faced on halves.

I had a strawberry milkshake in Venezuela.

The fruit had been 'fertilized' with poo. Human poo.
very bad.

Dios mio.

Good Lord.

Some things don't need to be shared.

When I was in my mid teens I made 15 gallons of cider from apples my friends and I had robbed from an overgrown orchard where tramps used to go camping.

Three of us had 5 gallons in one evening and all three of us followed through at some point the next day. Some worse than others.

As for surly owners... My sincere condolences.

^^ "robbed"? Surely, you mean "scrumped".

When I was in my mid teens I made 15 gallons of cider from apples my friends and I had robbed from an overgrown orchard where tramps used to go camping.

Three of us had 5 gallons in one evening and all three of us followed through at some point the next day. Some worse than others.

Can it be called 'camping' if you already live outside?

thats what i thought , tramps dont do camping holidays !

They used to turn up in the summer and camp. I always thought they came down from London to enjoy the countryside.

That's really heartwarming actually.

Got chatting to one once and he wore a padlock as a necklace. It was on a long doubled up shoelace. He said it was one of the best weapons in a fight and one that the police couldn't take off him because if he still had the keys then 'it was just a normal padlock no bother'.

I got a terrible case of "rusty water" after eating at Wagamama in Wimbledon last year.

Me too.
Painless which was a surprise.

Their prawn and chili dish went through me like a Porsche.
.

Mine reared it's ugly head, in liquid form, around 3hrs later.

Rusty, chili-infused water for two days just under 18hrs later.

I did lose just under a stone in weight though.

#everycloudetc

Priceless. This lot had me rolling up.

Got chatting to one once and he wore a padlock as a necklace. It was on a long doubled up shoelace. He said it was one of the best weapons in a fight and one that the police couldn't take off him because if he still had the keys then 'it was just a normal padlock no bother'.

Amazing. Going to go the shed now to pack for moving house, with a little smile on my face thinking about rough-sleepers 'getting out of London for a bit'.

This is a massive CSB. You'll all love it.

Every Christmas one of my Grandad's mates used to receive a box of chocolate covered Brazil nuts from a cousin or someone. He had no teeth so just used to suck the chocolate off and leave the nut.

He then used to put the nuts back in a bowel on the coffee table for people to help themselves to when they came round.