This morning's commute and other commuting stories

On the coach to Paris with a noisy noisy baby behind.

More importantly, wow, just wow. E&C, clusterfuck would be a compliment

Choice of quiet/gentle with Portland St/Brandon St or a bit quicker with Thurlow St/Flint St/Rodney Rd. You can follow the quiet route via Albany Park Edmond St/Benhill Rd then Camberwell Grove if you're coming from Dulwich way. Did Walworth Rd for the first time in a while last night as I was late for training. It still sucks.

Lay off the weed for a week or two?

Lolz!!

"Get dressed! Do you need your PE kit today? Why aren't you dressed? Why are your underpants behind the sofa? Stop fighting each other! Put your shoes on! Why is that in your mouth?! Have you brushed your teeth? Have you brushed your hair? I need to get your water bottle - go and wait by the front door! It's time for school! Shoes! Teeth! Hair! Bottle! Pants! Door! School!"

So familiar. For me (with just one) the fighting is replaced by endless questions to delay doing whatever I'm asking her to do, my side of a typical morning conversation is:-

"Go and brush your teeth please."
"No, I don't know why dogs have black lips, go and brush your teeth."
"Yes, most animals have lips. Brush your teeth!"
"Snakes, yes, they have lips."
"Mammoths had lips, but they're extinct now. Brush your teeth!"
"Teeth!"
"I'm not answering any more questions until you've done you've brushed your teeth."
"Teeth!"

(Repeat with next item on the list: shoes, hair, coat, etc).

Yes you should oil your chain. No I don't need a helmet.

Bird don't have lips.

Yep I know them feelz.

"Mammoths had lips, but they're extinct now. Brush your teeth!"
Hah, not bad :)

Insert awfully misogynistic and anatomical joke here.

Just realised the irony of duck's lips.

It's funny because it's true.

Except mine is always questions about who would win in fights between various Lord of the Rings / Harry Potter characters. Or who my favourite Sith is and precisely why (obvs Maul because tattoos and martial arts).

Snakes, yes, they have lips.

Excellent line of questioning! Do you keep a note of these things?

I've tried to keep a few in Evernote (3 yr old - "Are people meat, Daddy?") but inevitably I forget the best ones.

Maybe we should start a thread over in Members Only.

In commuting news, I am a big fan of Brandon/Portland St. I managed to cut out the A3 almost entirely by going along Vassall/Caldwell St in my quest for SW11.

When I cooked duck legs I got the question "Was that a mummy duck".

Ehm...

Mad cyclists this morning, one cycling on the wrong side of the road, one completely ignoring give way lines on a junction. Sure, who needs teeth/health...

Been living in new cross for a few weeks now but still can't seem to find a good route to Victoria. Generally doing A2 to E&C and then straight over it and onward to Westminster Bridge and along Embankment a bit to just before Chelsea Bridge Road. I wouldn't mind going a bit further for a good route but I can't seem to find one what with Embankment from London Bridge being total shite.

Any suggestions for an alternative?

@TurtleRecall Oh my. If you'd like to swerve Vauxhall (I know I would on your commute) Then how about Queens' Road - canal bed path - Burgess Pk - Across Walworth road into Kennington (something like Bethwin road, Cooks road) towards Black Prince Rd. Out over Lambeth bridge, Horseferry Rd, and find your fave back cuts west north west toward Vitoria.

That's a great suggestion from @Skülly. Depending on where in New Cross you are, you could stay "high" above Queens Road and then drop into Peckham through Nunhead way. Although Rye Lane is often equated with Death.

forum OG Joe Smith waiting for a bus on brixton road. looking svelte.

This morning's commute was notable because I saw one of those front mounted child trailer bikes snap in half. The frame just snapped whilst it was going along. Kids fine, extremely well spoken rider was stoical and more worried about getting kids to school one time.

Given the fact nobody was hurt, it made me chuckle.

Cheers! I currently avoid Vauxhall anyway, going straight over E&C roundabout past the IWM and then onwards to Westminster Bridge.

I'm not really after offroad canal path bits and I don't mind the A2 too much. I'd prefer a faster route with less stopping than a quieter route. I did try Queen's Road but it had less bus lanes and seemingly more traffic lights than the A2...

@mashton i'm right near new cross station.

If its the fastest route your after there are not many options really, Old Kent Rd or Queens Rd, the former being the most direct and fastest and it has one of those blue cycle lanes.

It's not a canal path. It's a former canal that is no longer a canal but is parkland and has a bike path running through it.

It's a lesser known secret route that is well worth checking out. Starts at Peckham Pulse.

Not fastest point to point, just the route with the least stopping and starting and the best chance of being able to travel at pace for as much of it as possible. Happy to take a less direct and longer route if it's more fun than stopping at lights every 50m.

I'll have to check out the former canal path!

Do people not look properly?

They clearly fucking do not look properly, no. In charge of 1000kg vehicle. What's the worst that could happen?

Something like this: http://ridewithgps.com/routes/10911069

This would actually be a really fun commute, well relaxing.

I was a knob this morning, commute was lovely but having got to my desk I realised I had no shirt/tee-shirt in my bag - I forgot to put one in but instead I had two pairs of underwear, extra protection or something?

Office suggestions were - I go topless, or I just wear my fire marshals hi vis jacket, but opted to buy a cheap white tee.