This morning's commute and other commuting stories

^^^HA! True story, Von Fiction?

I had a plastic bag ambush predator pounce on my chain, wrap itself around my cassette and lock up my wheel, forcing an unplanned skid and knackering the rear mech in the process as it ungracefully tried to pass round the jockey wheels.
Luckily, however, inside the remains of the bag were a couple of mostly unscathed napkins so I could wipe my fingers after extracting shredded plastic from my cassette, so it wasn't all bad. Some bags may be feral but some of them still have a modicum of consideration for other road users.

^^^HA! True story, Von Fiction?

Probably not, cos a bag locked cassette won't cause the freewheel to stop

I'm not really sure how the mechanics of it work but I've definitely seen a bike with a freewheel get completely jammed by a feral plastic bag on the rampage before.

Oh, a rampaging bag you say? I was confusing it with a meandering bag. I am a fool

I think the difference is maybe in how angry they are?

Like the difference between Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer? Both fairly angry but with more drive and intent in the latter. Was your bag wearing a loincloth?

Left home about 30 minutes earlier than usual to be able to leave early for track this evening, and I must say there wasn't so many commuters and cars on the road and it was actually pleasant commute into work, though it might have me being more careful in terms of trying not to do any skids and to save the tyres for the track.

Very quiet today. lots of people off work today to get away before the good friday rush?

On a bag related theme, I gave a 'strong look' to a guy last night in a blue suit on road bike who had a carrier bag wrapped around his right leg for oil / chain protection.

Never seen that one before.

His-visenger on a vintage Viscount managed to wrap the front end of his bike into my back wheel this morning as I stopped at a Zebra crossing near the HOP. He got an earful, and other earful, then I tore him a new hole in his head, turned it into an ear so I could fill that one as well.

Fair play to him, he was very apologetic. Look, I know it's early, but head's up motherfuckers.

Last night's commute consisted of getting lots of flies stuck in my eyelashes. Why are there so many flies on Lea Bridge Road? Great swarms of them. Horrible.

Probably not, cos a bag locked cassette won't cause the freewheel to stop

Obvs if it was just in the cassette it wouldnt lock but it got shredded and tangled far beyond that. There was a nice long skid mark on Baylis Road that was testimony. Took ages to get it all out and the mech was bust apart. It was a bag from a takeaway - also had a plastic fork but I had no immediate use for that.

Spotted: bothwell and Alkali.

on my way home from work last night, stopped at a red light and I see a hipsterSkidfixter come to the intersection from the left, waiting to turn right...he slows...goes into a trackstand...and then promptly falls over without being able to clip out.
Needless to say I thought this quite humourous, as did the people on the pub balcony that witnessed Mr Tightpants' hilarious attempt for a "like a boss" recovery to maximum cool before going straight across the now red light and past me.

the full bag

Forgot my locks and got a slow puncture at the top of city road whilst on the way to work! Great start to a Monday morning!

I was following some cuntbag from Liverpool Street station to London bridge, as he RLJ's at every junction possible. Shared a few grumbles with fellow cyclists as they watched him do it.

As I get to the end of London Bridge south he's riding sans hands and pops himself straight through the red light - problem being there's a police cyclist watching him and snags him immediately at the next light. Fucking textbook!

BMC roadie riding like a dong and RLJing (and still getting overtaken), lady on an old sit up and beg thing with drum brakes riding like an oblivious dong, on pavements, through reds, wrong side of traffic islands. Boils my piss!

Just remembered last Wednesday when I was riding home from work along Peckham Road and three girls were jumping out in front of cyclists, including me, and nearly causing accidents. Was raining so pretty scary. Went to confront them and they just laughed at me. Got more and more angry. Shouldn't have let them get to me. Rang 101 and reported them. Doubt they did owt about it

I was following some cuntbag from Liverpool Street station to London bridge, as he RLJ's at every junction possible. Shared a few grumbles with fellow cyclists as they watched him do it.

As I get to the end of London Bridge south he's riding sans hands and pops himself straight through the red light - problem being there's a police cyclist watching him and snags him immediately at the next light. Fucking textbook!

LOLz.

Makes me laugh when you're having a friendly commuter race, and your opponent has to bust a red to beat you.

Smacked a guy in the face this morning throwing out a right turn signal coming off Blackfriars onto Webber St. Guy was going the same way and for some reason was in more of a hurry than me so his dick move trying to sneak past got him well acquainted with the back of my gloved hand. I tried to ask if he was alright but he kept his eyes dead ahead.

Forgot keys. Arse biscuits.

LOLz.

Makes me laugh when you're having a friendly commuter race, and your opponent has to bust a red to beat you.

Absolutely. Should have seen the guys face as the police man was writing the ticket. From red lights to RED FACE. Fnar.

^^ Haha did this this morning, smacked a tube strike nodder in the face on a left signal onto Black Prince Rd. Also another tube strike nodder on a touring bike with handlebars the size of a small bridge got wedged in between a bus and a 4x4.

Busy on the way in this morning (obvs) but didn't see too many dickhead moves

Saw a guy on a folding bike pull in front of a bus that was waiting at the line at Brick Lane / Bethnal Green Road. He then couldn't see the lights change so sat in front of the bus while the lights were green for probably close to 10 seconds until I shouted at him to go.

He then did the same thing at the Hackney Road / Squirries street lights. Except he could see the lights, he just wasn't looking. Told him to pay attention. Never told off another cyclist before. Felt weird. Hopefully it got through to him though.