This morning's commute and other commuting stories

Had a mechanical. Should have paid more attention to the signs.

chainsnap/10

Still, I had better luck than the chap with the white deep section rear wheel that was running along the embankment - had a puncture, but had no 15mm spanner...

I will guess the chain snap was a gentle one and fixable with a chaintool roadside :)

Not a full on, under load chain snap when crush your scrote on the top tube and fall over.

It's late night, my bag is full of food shopping and my digits are slowly dying (it's cold, innit!?) and I'm less than impressed to discover that I've acquired a rear wheel puncture, oh but that isn't the only thing I've acquired. Unbeknownst to me, I've also gathered a sizeable dog turd on the very same wheel....ask me how I know! (le sigh).

Turdonawheel/10

I need new bib tights. Fuck it's cold...

On here looking type yesterday with semi-fluoro helmet on ratty orange low pro with front basket and risers. Swinging across a large group of cyclists as they start off from a green is kind of a dick move.

However they did not pass @6pt and I #boastpoast

and me

Bromptoneering. Tried out an old/new route from Tottenham Hale. Headed south over Blackfriars, then back north at Lambeth Bridge, cutting out the dog's dick that is the Embankment bellend cyclist gauntlet.

Highlights include overtaking everyone on Embankment west of Vauxhall Bridge with a guy on a road bike sitting in my slipstream from Lambeth Bridge all the way to Lupus St. WTF?

Should have put a new chain on last night, after the chain snapped the first time.

walkthelastfewmiles/10

Everything apart from hands were all good this morning, bringing out the winter gloves on next weeks commute...

bringing out the winter gloves

Do keep up

thought the gloves I'd been wearing for the last month or so would be enough, the frozenness of me pinky finger proved this was not the case..

Not as cold as yesterday - slack chain caused some guy to hit the deck just before liverpool st.

Tried the fixed today for the first time since shoulder injury. London Bridge is too hairy, going to keep on the roadie until summer. Double denim though...

Was fun, but slow and slightly painful. 7/10

Change your user name to double_d

got doored at wall/livpool street on my way home yesterday.
was filtering on the very left, lights turn green and dumb bitch decided it was the perfect time to get out of the back seat opening the door right in front of me.
obviously she had that cunty face on expressing 'you shouldn't have ridden there' and said she's not used to seeing cyclists on the streets of London - I was speechless.
suprisingly minor injuries, bike is OK, but is there a protocol for these accidents if no serious harm is caused?

it was a collision, report it.

claim for minor injuries and then learn from your lesson and don't ride within the door zone of a car. the driver is legally responsible for the car and its doors, but taking the moral high ground but being in pain is not a great strategy.

obligatory have you considered cycle training comment

Heart-in-mouth moment this morning, thought I was gonna be a fatality witness. Artic tipper lorry at junc of Southwark Bridge Road, indicating left to turn into Southwark St, cyclists behind at distance, then decides he's not got the clearance to make the turn, so indicates right to give himself more space, then goes to make the left turn (with left indicator on), whilst lady cyclist behind thought he'd committed to going right instead shoots up his inside left, oblivious to imminent danger. Shouted at her to look out for it turning, and she stopped just in time to give it space to turn, and she carried on merrily on her way. Scary stuff.

CSB/10

I tend to only point it out to people of the same sex, and I do it in a complimentary manner that may lead them to questioning their decision.
"Your cock looks fantastic in those leggings, they give it great definition"

AFAIK It is an offence to open a door in anybody's path.

Diesel spill on the mini-roundabout at the top of fountain drive (heading down hill). Chap in front almost lost it, I took a tighter line and did. Posted on our club forum to warn and someone else saw another rider hit the deck there. It's the shittiest roundabout to start with without this additional bonus.

^^Yes "dooring" can be criminal offence but prosecutions rare
insurance claims quite common though it seems:
http://www.slatergordon.co.uk/media-centre/blog/2015/06/cycling-law-is-car-dooring-a-criminal-offence/

Got cut up and subsequently taken out on CS7 between tooting and balham this morning. BMW pulled out into the road and then took an immediate left turn across me, if i hadn't started slowing down he would have hit me instead of me hitting him, despite me trying to take the turning with him as much as i could.
Scary but luckily no major damage to me or bike; a nice bloke on a ped stopped to say he'd seen it all and the driver took all responsibility and was overcome with guilt. Could have been a lot worse i guess

Old school friend "Doored" a car while it was going 50kph. Wrote of his car, the car that hit his door, and the parked car in front. Cost him 10's of thousands and actually lost his licence for 6 months as well!

On a more on topic note tube ride in wasnt as bad as I was anticipating. Trip after work to westfield will still be horrible and will remind me why I dont like people and why I prefer to cycle to avoid human interaction.

I got car doored in the summer 0f 2015. Was riding up the inside of stationery traffic in a advisory bike lane when the passenger in a car opened their door into my path.

I successfully claimed compensation from the driver's insurance company for the damage to my bike and the injuries I sustained.