Post your wisdom

Simple pleasures are the best.

don't listen to me.

Never underestimate the predicatability of stupidity.

don't listen to me.

Me or you?

don't listen to me.

Never underestimate the predicatability of stupidity.

please see above

ALWAYS listen to Murtle.

Don't attempt to steal anything less than £6m because anything less is never going to be enough.

Don't wish bad things on Cliff Richard, 'cos he'll never die.

All politicians are the same. They just wear different coloured ties. Ah, except that Nick Griffin. He's just a fascist in a Burton suit.

The only tool you'll ever need is a hammer...

wise words^

....unless it smells like a single malt.

ESPECIALLY if it smells like single malt! That is some extreme, alcoholic, unrefined yellow snow!

Rest your turkey for juiciness. However long you need to make that gravy and plate up those veg, take your time. Don't rush, that big ol roast isn't going anywhere. Deep breaths people.

ESPECIALLY if it smells like single malt! That is some extreme, alcoholic, unrefined yellow snow!

It just means that someone may have dropped their hip flask.

....unless it smells like a single malt.

It just means that someone may have dropped their hip flask.

Nobody, no matter how pissed drops a hip flask. They may fall but the flask will always remain tightly clamped to their mittened claw. If it smells like single malt - it's liver failure. Don't eat it!

Just to re-iterate. There are no circumstances when it is anything other than recklessly stupid to consume yellow snow.

Especially if it reads "Dave" or similar.

Someone dropped a bottle of wine on the snowy pavement outside my house. It looks as if someone's been murdered.

white or red?

Just googled pissing in snow... Oh, dear... What has been seen, etc...

some people are wise, some people are otherwise.

Most important words of wisdom EVER.

Measure twice, cut once.

Never race a cold engine.

Don't lean!!!

"Never, never, ever, bloody anything, ever"

Ade Edmondson

Never a borrower nor a lender be.